You Love Those Lies - Comments

Thanks for the comments and con crit. :)

Tomb It May Concern

I think that you had a great storyline going on here, but I felt like it was just a missing chapter of a larger story. I was very confused when the story first started, until it reached the middle, and Tyler started to try to figure out what was truly wrong with Jack.
I liked how the personalities were perplexing, though, because it added to the fact that there might be something wrong with either (or both) of the characters. I held on to the edge of my seat as I read, because I was anxiously waiting for what the end would be. I have to be honest, though - I was a little disappointed. I felt like there should've been a more dramatic, creative ending, instead of the standard one you used.
Like Sunny said, I wish I could have a clearer picture of their surroundings, and what the characters' emotions were.

Good job, and good luck!

Thanks for the comment :)

Tomb It May Concern:

At first I wasn't sure if I had opened the right entry. Everything was perfectly normal. Jack was dying and he had Tyler who was a devoted friend, looking after him. It wasn't until Tyler started snooping that I got that impending doom feeling and I knew I was reading the right thing.

What I really loved about this was the explanation of how Jack pulled it off. The makeup, the Internet searches, etc. However, I felt a bit detached from the reading. It might have to do with the use of active voice, but I also feel like more description of emotion would have benefitted this greatly.

I would have loved if you had a background to go with the different coloured centre of your layout but the title is very fitting.

Overall, I liked the outcome and the insight into Jack's brain as very self-centred, even after killing his friend, he's still concerned about his friend.

Good job and good luck!