This is interesting. The plot is pretty cool, too; I don't think I've heard of any stories when the OC's brother gets caught up in The Joker madness. Which makes your story utterly original and awesome.
I haven't had time to read the second chapter, but I will get onto it, promise. Just give me a day or two.
There are a few errors in the first chapter that I'd like to point out;
As they flashed from the joker's photo to the accomplice.
It should be the Joker or The Joker - you don't really have to capitalize the 'The' but I do it because, well, The Joker is awesome and he deserves to have his 'The' capitalized, no? :]
As i brewed some tea, i put the news on.
Those should all be capitals.
Its always so beautiful and it has a purpose in the world.
I think it should be 'It's', because that means It is always so beautiful and it has a purpose in the world. I may be wrong.
I didnt think anything of it since its Gotham, not much of a surprise if it were thieves.
"Didn't needs to have an apostrophe, as does "It's Gotham".
I had the feeling like something wasnt right, but I ignored it.
"Wasn't" needs an apostrophe too.
You'd think they would have learned by now that they really cant hold the joker there.
"Can't." needs an apostrophe. :3
This is no biggie, really, cause this story seems really good. Just a few punctuation errors.
I'm sorry if I seem a little bitchy, I really am just trying to help, and you shouldn't really worry too much about it.
This story is amazeballs.
Anyway, this was a very promising beginning, and I'm happy that I've found a new Joker fanfiction. Yay. Update soon!
November 14th, 2012 at 08:15pm
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