Oh, Child - Comments

It's a COMMENT SWAP :).....ok first things first I'm not a very good writer to say the least.so I'm going to just give you helpful comments not as a writer but as a reader!!!!!! Ok I really like.this story im.totally subscribing...I find it kinda intriguing and different then other stories I have read so bravo to you for originality ..but I did get confused. It eally didn't catch on to the voice in her head tell you told me at the end and I understand it is hard to explain things...on the plus side I really felt a.connection.to the character,well not really a connection more like and understanding any who you explained her well. Like other comments said you did explain the crash very well and I understood what was going.on which I give pointers to.you cause it's another.thing hard.to.explain..I
I really hope.you write soon cause.I can not wait to.read.more of.this.story!!!!!!!

Wow. Well comment swap. I'm really sad that this is on hold (I'll be subscribing anyways) First of all, the layout is simple, and I like that. On to the important stuff. You encapsulated the scene of the car crash PERFECTLY! I could really feel the confusion, especially the added confusion of the mans voice in her head. Also, I really appreciate the girl. Her personality is displayed so well on paper. Even after only 2 chapters, I feel like I can understand what kind of person she is. Well, I hope this isn't a "permanently on hold" kind of thing, because you are an amazing writer!

I absolutely love the car crash scene. You wrote it so well that I felt like I was there with her, reaching my hand out to stop him from getting hit. I thought it was tragic that there was still an accident though, even though she tried her hardest to help and to stop it.
I also love the creepiness of the voices in her head and then the man talking to her. I think this is a great set up for a story and I’m already interested in seeing what would happen next. If you decide to continue it, I think it will be a great story over all.

Oh~ I'm happy to see you've updated! This was a good chapter and I'm dying to find out more about what this story is going to be about and what exactly is going on. How is everyone connected? :] I hope you update soon. I'm so excited to read the next chapter you dish out for us.

What? Don't even ask if you should kill it, hon~. c; It's so lovely.

Comment Swap;

You're descriptions were quite enticing. Right off the bat you had me hooked. The chapter was short, but it was very mysterious. I want to know where things take off from there! Like the comment below me, I don't see how the title fits in, but I hope I get to find out. Great piece! :)

This was very mysterious but I followed it pretty well once I read it over. I liked the black and white themed layout you had, and I loved how simple it was. I'd say keep it, definitely! Not sure how the title was incorporated with the story but it was pretty neat, as well.

Comment Swap: I hate to be the ball buster on this one, but unfortunately this piece didnt do anything for me. The scene itself could be much more invoking, but I think the problem is lacking detail. Maybe add to the setting? I know it's raining but not much more. The writing isn't bad or anything, but I need a bit more to go off before i starting handing out highfives. Would be interested to see where it goes though ..

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Oh my god!! I have chills! This is amazing and beautifully written. You should definitely continue this. I'm already in love. Everything about it is so sophisticated!! From the layout to the wording, it's all just amazing! I love this!! If you don't continue it, it's still an amazing one-shot, but more would be amazing and I think this is the first time I've ever subscribed to a story I got on the comment swap but it's so worth it just because this story is so gorgeous!!

Ugh. I'm on writing this from my phone because I can't wait to get home and tell you how much I love this. As short as it is, the description and the intrigue is amazing~ I want to follow him too. Keep it and write more please! You're just my flavor. :D