this is a fantastic, erudite and incredibly moving piece and I'm just eternally jealous of the way you use language. sigh.
November 29th, 2013 at 09:49pm
I've read this maybe four or five times now and got something different or somewhat of a different feel for it each time. At one point I read the dialogue only, and the next just the narrative and I just find it's written in a way that really grips me and holds my attention. As I went on from the beginning to the end I felt I was learning a lot about the narrator without knowing it all and learning a lot about Erika whilst understanding the hate the narrator felt for her and sometimes understanding how irrational it was.
"Children are life’s most cruel expression."
That line along with others just really help me get a feel for how bitter the narrator is. I absolutely adored it. It would work extremely well as a one-shot and I'm excited that it's not because I'm hooked and I could read it again and again without becoming bored.
I don't read much, but I will read this, however long you make it. Great work.
