Youth - Comments

  • maus.

    maus. (400)

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    I love this, really love. Only you can make me love slash, and mostly because your characters are so realistic, and your writing is so smooth.
    June 17th, 2013 at 05:11pm
  • SuperNovaEclipse

    SuperNovaEclipse (100)

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    Lol peer pressure. Love da story!
    February 11th, 2013 at 04:51am
  • What...

    What... (1400)

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    This has always been my favorite. Of anything. Ever. Cry Confession time: I read this a lot.
    February 11th, 2013 at 04:43am
  • polka dot perfection

    polka dot perfection (100)

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    loved it:D
    November 30th, 2012 at 11:13pm
  • Billie J. Armstrong

    Billie J. Armstrong (100)

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    I loved Youth, it was adorable and I loved how you didn't have to write so much detail to create a scene or add a lot of dialogue to fully understand what was going on. I loved the active tense you involved in your story, it made it seem like it was in the moment and that the only things that needed to be focused were Sebastian and Leo. There was an awkward moment after Leo said that he liked Sebastian, but overall it was very well done. Cute
    November 28th, 2012 at 09:25pm
  • Elephant PJs

    Elephant PJs (365)

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    (Weird starter note, people below have commented about the beginning. I told you it wasn't tacky! tehe

    Ugh, I love your super powerful active tense. Like short sentences where the verb is the focus and OH MY GOD I'm a grammar dork Facepalm But everything I read of yours is just stylistically super beautiful and raw almost, but in a polished way if that makes any sense.

    The spooning was definitely the right way to go. The intimacy of it was perfect, particularly the aftermath. Definitely showed certain strength of character in Leo, which is nice. Like, he's not an asshole or anything.

    "It made sense because it was him," is an insanely good line. However, (oh god, I'm actually going to critique you) I think the whole I like you confession was slightly awkward after that. Like you needed a bit more of an interlude there to build the tension. I really like Leo's gaze burns into him there but it's like they've skipped a moment in between.

    Anyway, I really, really, really liked it and I honestly can't comprehend why you don't write original fiction. Because this is so wonderful, I'm green with envy.
    Great job Thumb up
    November 19th, 2012 at 06:35am
  • wish on a firefly

    wish on a firefly (885)

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    Awww, this is so cute! I love how this all comes together. Sebastian is so shy and sweet while Leo is just so straightforward and yet he's so loving.

    I admit, the beginning kinda threw me off because -- well, only someone who's so straightforward would say that without coming off as awkward, but it's a wonderful start. :)

    The whole thing of these two slowly admitting their love for each other throughout the entire scene is so cute and you pulled it off really well. Now I'm wondering about this Joseph or J person. I'm wondering what happened between J and Sebastian.

    Anywho, I love this story.

    “I like you. Or, I’m -- I think I’m going to like you, if that’s okay.” is the best nervously/anxious way of saying I love you, even though it wasn't quite that kind of confession, but you know. it still touched my heart.

    I loved this story! I hope to read more stories by you soon. :)
    November 18th, 2012 at 08:36pm
  • Louise Belcher

    Louise Belcher (100)

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    Happy faceHappy faceHappy faceHappy faceHappy faceHappy faceHappy faceHappy faceHappy faceHappy face

    THE FEELS.

    Make this longer... tehe please.
    November 17th, 2012 at 06:50pm
  • What...

    What... (1400)

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    “I want to fuck you. Is that okay?”

    That's awesome. I don't know, it's so casual, and it says they know each other but not well enough for Leo to not have asked.

    And Leo's tattooed with some other guy! He's got a past! A story! Oh lord that knocks me dead. BECAUSE IT'S SMALL AND IT MEANS SO MUCH WHERE DOES IT ALL GO? I MEAN HOW DOES IT FIT THERE?! I DON'T KNOW!!!

    I have a problem with caps lock. My apologies.

    And “It made sense because it was him.” THAT'S SUCH A PRETTY THING TO SAY OH MY LORD WHAT... THESE FEELINGS.

    Reeling it in now. (Not really.)

    AND SEBASTIAN KISSES THE TATTOO LIKE HE'S ACCEPTING THE FACT THAT LEO'S GOT A PAST! Oh lord. Twitch

    BRAVO!!! Clap
    November 17th, 2012 at 05:54pm