Crazy in Love - Comments

@ Lone_Wolf
Thanks I am going to be starting the next chapter soon

love it more soon please

@ Musicisthesavior
she isn't trust me:) i'm actually not a fan of harley and im having it not go the way the movies make it

I can't stop picturing Sarah as Harley xD

Yes continue I love joker love stories and yours has potential! Good luck

@ paracosm.
thank you for the review and help. Im not making the joker fall fast. there are a lot of twists and turns coming up. also its hard for me to edit on my computer but i will try to edit more

So many new Joker stories keep on cropping up, it's great. I'm all excited.

Well, this seems like it has potential but I would recommend spacing out your paragraphs and using speech marks. It doesn't matter if the first chapter's short, sometimes a short introduction is what you need to draw the reader in.

"Sarah laid down on her bed in her abandoned apartment. She laughed to herself, abandoned just like me.

(Maybe instead of the words Flasback you could write the whole scenario in italics just to make it more evident).

Tears streamed down the young girl's face as alone was carved into her skin.

"Why Mommy and Daddy, why?"

"Because you were a burden from the day you were born and now, you will always be alone."

With that her parents slammed the door of the small apartment, leaving the little girl in a pile of blood on the floor. She soon passed out from shock and blood loss. Her neighbour heard the argument and called the cops. They brought her to the hospital to treat her wounds. As they examined the girl, more scars were noticed. Words were carved all over the girl; burden, bleed, rot, mistake, and most noticeable was die carved on her cheek.

While the doctors couldn't do anything about the scars, they healed what they could. Sarah awoke and was instantly worried. She knew if she was at the hospital they would send her away. Sarah slowly got up, grabbing some medical supplies and food. She then got dressed and left, not looking back. She ran and ran until she found the city sign of Gotham.

Sarah smiled as she remembered how she came to this city. That was ten years ago. She had blended in with the city very well and she got a job at a restaurant. This is what she looked like but her hair was really a rich black, underneath her dyed blonde hair. She also had a rose tattoo on her collar bone. Suddenly, Sarah heard a scream outside. She slowly went to the window. There she saw a man with green hair and make up on his face. She smiled as she watched the man slowly torture and kill the other man. She accidentally giggled and immediately ducked and turned out lights to sleep.

Little did Sarah know the man had heard her. Before she ducked, he had spotted her and was very curious. The man mentally noted he was going to give the girl a surprise visit tomorrow."

I didn't change too much of it, I just corrected the punctuation and grammatical errors. Anyway, although the mistakes are a little distracting and interrupt the flow of the story, I am very interested. One suggestion, however; don't make The Joker fall in love with her too soon. I'm sure you won't, but considering his very complex character, especially in the Nolanverse, it will have to be a gradual process if he is going to become attached to her. I'm probably being seriously hypocritical as I am guilty of writing a Joker story too, but y'know. :3

I think you should continue it. I just read over this and realized how much of a bitch I seem to be, but I promise you I am not insulting this story in a shape or form. I like it, there's just a few errors to keep it from being amazeballs.

please tell me if i should continue sorry for the short first chapter will get longer and better