Opportunities - Comments

This is some of the strongest development I've ever seen in a one-shot that wasn't over ten thousand words.

You set the scene perfectly with the girls' night out at the bowling alley. From the IHOP across the street, to the bar next door, you can get a real sense of the place. And the whole cosmic bowling thing just adds to the allure of that evening.

Each of your characters are people. Kara's new haircut, Savannah's protectiveness and Annie's...intrusion, the group dynamic is very clear.
I also loved the inclusion of Walt and his rants about other cab drivers. It was very sweet.

"That’s awesome, but how about we skip the fangirl thing tonight? I’m not in the mood.”
This made me laugh so much and it's very relatable in terms of those friends who freak out over celebrities and those who keep it cool. I loved how cool Jenna was about it.

The progression from the start of the night to finish was absolutely flawless. The transitioning between scenes is just so fluid, I'm honestly in awe.

The way you kept back the details regarding Rob till the end, was awesome. Just perfectly timed and everything clicked.

The ending was so unexpected, and yet really satisfying at the same time. Johnny wasn't a total asshole, but Jenna had learned from her past and did the adult thing. I get the whole strong leading female vibe off her and I adore it.

This was absolutely wonderful. Just perfect.

I'm really glad she decided to turn him down. And I liked the description of how she was feeling throughout the whole time she was with him, all the insecurities and doubts.
I really enjoyed reading it. Great job! :D

I loved this!
"Would it matter if I said it was an open relationship?"
I wonder how many times the guys have used that line, probably not many, lol, cus its only once in a blue moon they get turned down! but still, I shook my head at that line...Men. ha!
I really liked this. You managed to detail quite a bit and give a feel for the characters even though it was just a one shot. Well done:)

I liked this story, it was awesome.