Reap - Comments

I like this story. I'm pretty impressed that its not another generic reaper story.

I remember Alyx's demeanor now, and it still makes me laugh. Now I'm trying to remember if she had any sisters in the first two drafts?

I liked the update!

So the bad before the good - I caught a few grammar mistakes in the beginning of the chapter, which you could easily fix by reading it over before posting. Sometimes reading out loud makes it easier to catch mistakes.

Other than that I loved the chapter. Death really amuses me with his mannerisms. He's aware of who he is but he's not entirely arrogant.

I can't remember what gets Alyx to change her mind with Damian but I'm still excited.

Post again soon!

I really loved the first two chapters of this! I didn't get a chance to read the first two versions, but this is really awesome. Already, your characterization is great. I find myself wanting to know more about Alyx and Death, and whether or not they'll have some kind of twisted relationship. I'm also curious about Damian. I can't wait for another chapter!

I'm super excited for this rewrite.

A bit of concrit - the first thing I noticed was that you used the word "dream" quite a bit in the beginning of the first paragraph. It also sounded a bit cliche with "merry band of misfits" - other than that I really liked the opening paragraph, I thought it gave quite a good promise of what this story is going to become. The line "they became puppets and slaves to a man that should only exist inside a fairy tale" was amazing.

"that light was just my LED christmas lights I used to hang myself." this is so dark but I love it. It's harsh and angsty.

So yeah - I'm excited! I really hope you keep up with this and finish it this time!

I just looked down and saw that my last comment was 2 years ago! That's crazy.

Loved it!

Holy crap. That was intense. I can't wait to see what Alyx is going to think/feel. Wonderful update.

Loved the update honey, I can't wait for more.

I loved finding out more about the choker, and that little flashback. I also liked the fit that Lucifer threw. I can't wait for more!

I enjoyed reading what you have so much. I'm already subscribed, but once I leave this comment, you'll be getting a well deserved recommendation.

I really want to see where this goes. I want to know if she has to reap more souls, if she'll actually go to Hell, if she appears for Damien again, what happens to Damien. I can't wait to learn more about her choker, and I wonder if all Reapers wear them.

I had a few favorite lines, but I didn't mark them down and the only one I see right off when I skimmed through was her quip "I'm jumping for fucking joy."

I really hope you post another chapter soon. Or you know, the whole story, that'd be awesome too.

I love how you used this quote: Suicide is a permanent solution for a temporary problem. Robin Williams has been known to say that, although I am not sure if the words are truly his. (I do hope you don't speak from experience)

I love the prologue, its just enough and not too much. Its the right amount to get me excited for this story! And what a 'romantic' start with her waisting her get-out-of-hell freecard to keep this boy alive.

“So what happens?” I question him, “do I go into Death’s Witness Protection Program?” I love this. Bringing in some sarcasm and humor. Great comeback.

Although you do use overused phrases like: I’m damned if I do, damned if I don’t. I don't find it as annoying as I thought I would. It doesn't bother me like I know it can.

This story is great. Keep writing it!

Oh and all I want to say: Give it up to @ Audrey T who gives the best and most elaborate comment of all time haha.

Whoops double post

The long summary was perfect. It was intriguing, it gave just enough info about the plot, and it really drew me in. This looks like it's going to be a really interesting story.

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, that statement does hold some truths. Suicide is permanent, too permanent. But when it’s the only option you think you have, you’ll take it.

I thought this was a great opener for your story. I think it's a great sentiment and it makes a big statement. I love that you took a (often overused and oversimplified) phrase and quickly and concisely explained that while may seem like a decent mantra, it's pretty much BS for practical use. I love that you shared that point of view.

In his eyes, I see the person I once was.

I think so far (and I'm just one chapter in!), you're doing a really good job of adding character to Alyxandria. I think lines like this (and the one quoted at the very top) says a lot about Alyxandria, who she was while alive and who she is now in death. I think the fact the she can still connect to people even though she's dead (and after reaching a point where she was done with life) says a lot. And I think it's very realistic for a person to connect/feel sympathy or kindred with someone they see themselves in. So her wanting to save this boy might be her wanting to have saved herself or be saved when she was alive.

No beloved daughter or loving friend. I probably was never any of that. But I deserved something, right?

I thought it was interesting you chose to leave her tombstone blank. I think sometimes people (even people who are contemplating suicide and feel like no one will miss them) have a slightly romanticized few of what life will be like for others after they've died. Maybe they think people will mourn or be devastated, and I think in most stories like this that's at least partly true. So it was weird (but in a good way) to see that wasn't the case here. And it was good to see that even Alyxandria, who said herself that her family and friends didn't care for her, still was expecting a little more.

I really like the new, modern view of Death. I've been seeing that a lot lately in new fiction and I think it's great that people imagine Death as someone who keeps up with times and fashion. XD I did find it a little strange that Alyxandria and Death seemed so familiar with each other. Reading her exchange brought me back to a few other questions I had at the start like, why did Alyxandria get this deal? I'm sure she's not the first person to regret having committed suicide or the first person who simply doesn't want to stay dead, so why is she getting a chance to change that? Is this something that's explained later in the story or is just kind of how it is? Also, I found it a little strange that Alyxandria wasn't keeping track of how many souls she'd reaped (? Is that the correct term?) since this was important to her and she was striving towards a specific goal.

Do I want to save his life and in return burn in Hell for the rest of eternity? Or do I want to just reap his soul like he was like anyone else and be over and done with this deal?

This was another thing I was a little confused about it. Is she burning in hell for suicide (like in this story suicide is a sin) or is the trade for getting the deal risking going to hell (like if she hadn't taken the deal and just accepted that she was dead, would she have gone to heaven or a less damning place)?

Or do I want to just reap his soul like he was like anyone else and be over and done with this deal?

O_o What is this?! Is it foreshadowing? Is it tongue-in-cheek joke? Side-eyeing commentary? I don't know. But I do think it's interesting that she so easily disregards the life of the other people she reaped but she's assigned special value to this life. o_O

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So far, I love this. I'm very interested in reading more (subscribed) and seeing what choice Alyxandria makes or how her relationship with Damien develops.

Rec'd!

I think I should start by saying that I am incredibly impressed by this story. I read another work of yours titled "Bloody Mary" a little while back, and was also taken aback by your writing style. I have no suggestions for improvement, and am very much looking forward to seeing this continue. I definitely believe it could go great places - especially with you as the author. Best wishes.

I loved it hun.

Oh nos, please update again soon!

I really like this! Looking forward to the next chapter. (:

Loved it

Loved it!

I like this so far!!!