Unlovable - Comments

I only read the first chapter but I really loved it. Harry Potter is such a classic and so adaptable to fanfictions. I like that she's Slytherin because you almost never see OC's in the Slytherin house I feel like. It's very easy to read as well, like to the point where you don't want to stop reading because you're so hooked. Question, how do you pronounce Variel? I just want to make sure I'm thinking the right name whilst reading lol. I'm definitely excited to see where this goes and I'm for sure subscribing, I'll leave comments with each chapter I read. :)

I like how you kind of modified it so it's similar to the sixth book but changed to fit around Variel, love stories like that. :)

I’m here from my Mibbaween candy bowl, and I’m sorry sorry for being late on this. Anyways, you have amazing color schemes on your story layouts! And I love how they match to the banner. Kudos. Your summary…the argument idea is brilliant. It pulls the reader right into the story. Also, I’m jealous you have an awesome story trailer to go with it!

Ch. 1: I couldn’t find anything wrong grammatically or with your punctuation. Which is such a relief. I love how you put your sentences together in a way that they don’t slow the story down, but they do take time to make the reader see what’s going on in their mind. I like Variel’s seemingly cold demeanor even though she wants to know what love feels like. I also like that she’s not one of the Slytherin overly obsessed with Draco Malfoy.

Ch 2.: Grammar thing “telling you were are practicing nonverbal” You only need ‘were’ or ‘are’ not both in this sentence. And there’s one point where you say ‘Kind’ but mean ‘Kinds’. Over all, this chapter was just as good as the first. Although I like the exhacnge between Potter and Snape, not to mention the love potion explaination Variel gave. This is good for the die hard Harry fans.

I just found this story and I'm in love! Your writing style is amazing and I love how everyone seems so in character! I can't wait to see where things go, so far I'm really liking Variel and Harry but I want to know how it will play out with Draco. Can't wait to read more!

I feel like such a derp, because I went to 'like' this chapter as if it were a Facebook post. /shakes head regretfully.
Anyhow, I loved this chapter, and I thought it was written well. You have a knack for sounding like the already existing characters, and for staying in character and I really admire that :)
Anywho, I can't wait to read the next update!
P.S. Team Harry, all the way!

oh my lord, so I totally read this a while ago and then never subbed and then I was sad that I couldn't find this story but here it is (thank god you're in group B )

I freaking love this. It's very well written and almost reads like it could have been something JK wrote herself but you know, added a new character. Usually when HP fanfics add scenes from the books it's written not very well but the way you've written for example the scene between Snape and Harry when Harry's all 'no need to call me sir' and instead of Variel being written into the scene, you just made her a bystander which I liked because I feel like some hp fanfics try too hard but yours just works well, y'know? I also love how in chapter 3 when you've included Harry and Dumbledore's mission stuff that you've included Variel in a way that tells us how the story's going to play out but done in a way that isn't too in your face or obvious.

AND YOU WRITE SO IN CHARACTER TOO LIKE who wrote this you or jk???

Seriously though you're a kick-ass writer and I can't wait to read more of this AND ALSO the last line was so cute, how it was just her and harry vs their labels (gryffindor and slytherin). It was cute af though I have to say I'm gunning for Malfoy to get with Variel, even though Harry's doing better with her so far. I just have a soft spot for Malfoy

Wow. I honestly am impressed and delighted to come across this. I absolutely love HP fanfics that have OC's! I find it so difficult to find though!

This, from the description(props to you! I can't write descriptions to save my life) to the last word on the fourth chapter had me.

Valeria is charming and I like how you've kept her true so far, what I mean by that is how she blended in so much that Harry even forget about her for a few days after meeting her. In most stories with an 'invisible' character, once they've been noticed that's it. I like that you kept her invisible.
You have a wonderful use of imagery and I honestly do feel I'm right in there with the people.
I can't wait to read more :)

First off, I would like to say that I haven't read a Harry Potter fanfic with an OC being the main character in about 8 years.

That being said, this fanfiction is absolutely fantastic! It is honestly the best OC based fanfiction I think I've ever read. Your characterization of Valeria is wonderful -- I can actually picture everything she does right down to her facial expression purely because of your descriptions of her looks and her attitude. It's amazing!

Second, I thoroughly appreciate that you follow the same basic events in the books, but at the same time detract them enough to involve Valeria, making the story your own.

I also really appreciate Valeria not really being a 'Mary-Sue' type OC. Like, she has depth, she has a purpose, she's not just there to win Harry's heart and have his babies. And I love how she finally told off Malfoy (just like I loved it when Hermione punched him. xD).

I really don't have anything to give as far as constructive criticism goes. Your characterization is on point, your grammar is stellar, and your punctuation is phenomenal.

I can't wait to see what you do with it next. Seriously, this is amazing.

Ah I read this before and found it really good. Now, that it appeared again in front of me I can only say It worth the read. I went through the chapters again and it got me hooked for the second time. I love everything about this and I hope you will update soon ;)

Ah I read this before and found it really good. Now, that it appeared again in front of me I can only say It worth the read. I went through the chapters again and it got me hooked for the second time. I love everything about this and I hope you will update soon ;)

Ah I read this before and found it really good. Now, that it appeared again in front of me I can only say It worth the read. I went through the chapters again and it got me hooked for the second time. I love everything about this and I hope you will update soon ;)

First, I'd like to comment on your layout. It's simply beautiful.

The first chapter was wonderful! It gave really nice insight on all of the characters. Not to mention, you weren't ooc for a single one. I love your writing style and how you managed to include a lot of the main and sub characters without completely overwhelming your readers.

I really like Variel's character thus far. Part of me wishes she would've stuck up for Harry while Snape was downing on him, but I can understand why she didn't.

The concept of this fic is amazing. I've never read anything like it. You grammar and spelling were impeccable.

I'm definitely going to continue reading this. Well done!

I sign on to mibba every once in awhile to see if some of my favorite stories have updated and I'm very happy one of those stories was this! I hope you update more often or make the chapters longer. Great update!!

I never know what to expect when I read fics for fandoms I'm not a part of, but this is pretty damn excellent thus far. I used to be really big into Harry Potter a few years ago, so some of the things that you mentioned and pulled directly from the book(s?) helped bring back those memories and kept me that little bit more interested. That, and Variel actually kind of reminds me of myself. It did make me think that J.K. herself could've taken this route instead of doing what she had. It really sucks that there isn't more due to writer's block (something I'm no stranger to), but, as they say, all good things take time. Honestly, I wouldn't worry too much about the wait in between each update because the Harry Potter fandom has been alive for years and I highly doubt it's going anywhere anytime soon. They'll keep coming back if you keep your writing as consistent and cohesive as possible. Really, a great fic!

I love this so much please post more chapters

Your summary was quite intriguing and so despite the fact that I don't watch trailers, I watched yours. Unbelievable powerful. Would you mind sharing with me which tracking you have used for the audio?

Anyways, your first chapter was ace. The whole thing so far is, actually. I find that this is on par with Rowling's work, and that it something I don't say often. A bit of cleaning up by Rowling herself and this very well could be something I'd expect from her! I love how you've tied everything together so well and started at almost the end of Hogwarts, but none of that matters because your style of writing is so well done.

What disappoints me is the lack of chapters here. Four. A mere four of something so good? I honestly don't think I'll be able to read anything else and be satisfied today. Please update soon!

I haven't read a lot of Harry Potter fanfiction on this site, but I have to say that I am in love with this story. It's so interesting to me how you kept everything fitted so well into the world that JK Rowling created while working around a plot that is really unique and intriguing. I love Variel. I can't wait to see how the tutoring sessions go and how the friendship between her and Harry develops. This honestly could go so many different ways, so it will be fun to watch it unfold! <3

First off, you have my undivided attention. Harry Potter! I'm already in love. AND SECONDLY, this summary is golden. I'm a bit scared that there are only 4 chapters though, because if it's as good as I'm sure it will be, I'm going to want more and I don't like waiting.

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This is amazing. It blends so well with the already existing story line. Not to mention how well you write. Variel really could be one of JK's characters.

I'm so interested in reading whatever else you put into this. I just hope you do write more for it. Subscribed and recommended.

Candy bowl! This story is very unique and I'm definitely loving it! You captured my interest immediately and never wavered with your fantastic descriptions.

I love your layout for this story, it's simply gorgeous and I think it's very effective in drawing people in. It makes them think, "Hey this is cool looking, maybe I'll give it a shot?"

I saw your trailer before I read this story and I loved it! When I saw you wanted me to read this story I was ecstatic! I really wanted to read the story, but didn't know where to go find it.

Variel is an interesting character, and I think I like her. She has just the right amount of attitude, keeps to herself and I am intrigued that she was made by a love potion. I subscribed and recommended this story, just because I enjoyed it a lot. :)

This is so interesting. I normally don't read Harry-centric stories; I'm more of a Draco/Weasley brother's kinda gal. But wow, I can't believe I haven't read this until now! It's in my rec list, so I know I've stumbled upon it before and found it intriguing. I'm so glad you commented on my candy bowl and got my butt in gear to finally check this out.

First off, the summary alone is just...it draws you in. I've never seen a Harry Potter fic like this before, and it's like one of those things where you wonder how no one has thought of this, because it's genius. A girl conceived from a love potion, who can't love. Seriously. Amazing.

I really liked how you changed the plot around from the movie, and had Variel find Harry. That was a great way to introduce them to one another and to introduce their initial relationship to the readers. It makes me want to keep reading to see how the two will eventually soften in their feelings for one another. I also really like Variel. She's original in the sense that, like you stated, she seems so very different from the other Slytherin's. I was happily surprised while reading her interactions with the others, and was glad she didn't snap at them the way we know other Slytherin's might (*cough* Draco *cough*)

I'm definitely going to come back and read more after I finish with my candy bowl, because I'm excited to see what's in store!

Okay, this is really interesting. I'm not usually into the trio being with anyone but their respective others (Ron/Hermione, Harry/Ginny), but I'm diggin' Variel's character a lot. It's interesting how you made Variel find Harry, instead of Tonks, like the books. I like this kind of perspective and this story is definitely very interesting. Great job!