Black Dahlia - Comments

I’m here as the new host for ‘Just Another Contest’.

You definitely weren’t kidding when you warned that this would be disturbing. The way you opened up the entire story was grotesque, but oddly mesmerizing as well. I enjoyed how you incorporated Alex’s past into the current situation without breaking the flow. It helped me understand just how thoroughly messed up Alex was because this had been something he had been aware of for most of his life. The fact that he was so cold and remorseless was a nice touch. A lot of people put emotions into these types of characters, not knowing that psychopaths and sociopaths wouldn’t feel guilt or shame. It kept me detached from Alex, which is exactly how it needed to be.

The whole ‘purging the world of bad people’ thing reminded me of Dexter in a way, so it wasn’t a new concept to me. I once read something about how a lot of killers think they’re doing something well justified when their victim is a prostitute or something. I think I’m more on Dexter’s level considering he only murdered, well, criminals like other murderers and such. I’m not of the mindset that prostitutes and drug addicts are particularly bad people, and in all honestly, I did find the illegal immigrant one a bit… tasteless, to put it bluntly. As much as I didn’t agree with it, the prostitute and drug addict made more sense but an illegal immigrant? How would Alex have even known? And why did that make the person deserving of being killed? I know that there’s no reasoning or justification for murder when it comes to psychos like Alex, but I did think you could have executed the “bad people of the world” concept a little better.

But that’s really it, so overall, this was definitely a disturbing but well-written one-shot so good job.

This is amazing. Simply put. This is in all honestly one of the best fictions of this genre that I've ever read. I love how you don't give away too much about either character, you keep it simple which keeps the reader wondering. You have a nice way of describing things too, you make the reader actually feel like they're in the story. I do have one little concerns, I'm not sure if you intended it to be like this, but to me it didn't look right.

''he can get release'', with the tense you've written this in, should it not be ''he could get release''?
Anyway, thanks for entering my contest!

@ Psychotic Secrets
I honestly didn't know what to title it, and it just seemed to fit in a way. I wrote it for my friend that wanted a fan fiction of this guy. But thanks a lot! :)

I really liked this story so much, the title honestly was a little disappointing. By the way it was described I thought it would be about THE Black Dahlia. But it was still good.

The other downfall was I was really, really into the story. I was on the edge of my seat until I read the part about the man being in a famous band. It kinda hit me hard with the story. I have absolutely nothing against fan fictions but it was a let down. But it was a VERY good fan fiction. One of the best I've read on Mibba.

You are very talented though:) Very good story.

Shit. The intro was intense.

I was so mindf*cked when I read the part about her chest no lifting or falling, and wondered if she was holding her breath or something? That was insane. I mean I loved it. I love drama and tragedy and psychologically dark pieces like this.

(Aw shit. I literally just read the end of your story and saw "rippled water" and then "peaceful and serene" and now I'm gonna feel obligated to change the introduction to my entry for that one contest. :* I started it a week ago and haven't done much else, but, yeah, I just feel like they're too identical. This has happened to me before.)

Anyway, I think this was amazing! You always blow me away with your writing. I'm jealous because you're younger than me and I suck. JK. But honestly I really liked this. I don't even care that I'm not familiar with the main character of the story, it was very intriguing. You're a super talented writer, Lea!

Omg thank god he is not like that in real life