Defiance - Comments

Do you know how long I have been waiting for you to update this? Do you even KNOW?
Dmitri in the kitchen cracked me up. I definitely was not expecting a naked demon in this chapter. Not even a little bit. And horse heart? Really? What is he, a fucking Khaleesi?

I love how Onolee and Logan play off each other too. So much fucking snark. It's great. And tormenting Tank? Priceless! I almost feel bad for the guy, getting double teamed by them. But then he makes an arrogant comment and I realize he kind of deserves it.

I can not WAIT to read about "seeing what everyone's got". Like really, I can't. So excited for that! I'm really hoping you get that chapter out soonish, but I know how stressful your semesters can be. I suppose I'll have to try to keep my nagging and begging to a minimum.

“No, it seems that we ran out of horse heart. We have bacon, you could eat that.”
LOL! I love her. Onolee (I hope I've spelt that right) is so frickin' witty and sharp. and she just takes everything in her stride but I know she could just turn and stab one of these dudes in the heart if she had to. Winning combination haha.

“Will it disgust you if I do not cook it?” he asked. Since when the hell did he care? The guy had that ‘I only care about me’ attitude.
It will disgust me.

“Where the hell are your clothes? We aren’t a fucking nudist colony. We like leather here, and jeans, and cotton, and basically things that cover most private places.”
LOL! I could have highlighted the whole thing here. I love how comfortable he is just strolling around naked. Ok the naked image is going to stay with me for the rest of the chapter now no matter how hard I try to get rid of it haha.

I wasn’t sure if I was going to be frozen solid at the sight of him or crumble into shards of ice. Neither sounded pleasant.
No, none of that sounds pleasant.
I love how you break up the humour with moments like this, when you remind the reader how terrifying and unpredictable and just bloody dangerous these creatures/demons/supernatural beings are.

“And a good everything.”
Bahaha, demon perving.

“Calm down there, Tank, wouldn’t want to give yourself a heart attack in your old age,” I talked into my bowl of cereal.
Can I highlight the entire thing for use of witty banter?

I WANT MORE NOW.
Geez, I know you have a life and everything but I want more of this story. I wasn't even joking earlier on twitter when I said I got all excited. I fangirled. Yep, it happened. And I had to explain to my friend that your writing is the shit and you should be published because it has the perfect amount of realism/supernatural/originality/horror/uncertainty/hotness/humour, etc, etc.

"Don't you have anything god to eat? Like horse hearts or something?" DMITRI, GROSS.

Can I just say that Oreos and Banana Split Ben & Jerry's ice cream is the BEST breakfast of life? Seriously. Think I need to start doing that every now and then. And by now and then, I mean every darn day.

"Sorry, Douglas, no one wants to talk about your geriatric body." LMAO! The poor old man, always being picked on. And Dougie Boy is the best nickname ever.

Oh the hilarity of this chapter! You have this perfect way of writing dialogue and interaction between characters. I envy you for it. Loved this! Can't wait for the next chapter!! <3

LOVED IT!!! :)

I seriously can't wait for more!! I am literally on the edge of my seat!! LITERALLY!!! :D x

Late to the party. As per usual.

To be honest, though they're all lovely looking specimens, I'm not sure I'd want them in my house. They're probably messy and break things easily haha.

Well… Tank could get blown up and I wouldn’t complain but that was a different story.
BAHAHA!

“Don’t worry, beautiful, I won’t eat you,” he grinned darkly. I looked away from him immediately. Yeah, there was definitely something wrong with that one.
Ok I didn't find William unnerving, until now.

“You’re giving me an order to let you into my home? That is not how it works, Tank. You have to ask. Sweet talk me. You know how I like it.”
I love this chick!

I fell down on one of the old dusty couches. It smelled faintly of blood and gunpowder. It was calming.
That does not sound calming.

Logan toyed with her bracelet. It was a habit she had when she was uncomfortable with a situation.
I love that you put little human habits like this in. Ones people don't usually think to mention even though we're aware that everyone has little 'quirks' to reveal how they really feel about a situation.I think it makes Logan more relatable.

“You’re over six hundred years old. People shouldn’t be calling you Tank. They should be calling you grandpa,” Logan simply stated.
LOL! Genius!

I LOVE THIS STORY. It should be a novel. I actually think you should just hurry up already and publish a novel so it can get pride of place on my shelf and I can re-read it whenever I like ;)

Oh you did update! Made my day so much brighter!

I love your characterizations so far. All the little tidbits and hints at character personalities are so fascinating to me. And the fact that there are so many characters all thrown in at one time, yet you STILL are able to give them different voices even this early on is astounding.

I just love this story.

And I'm really jealous that Lyndsey has already read the next chapter, especially since she's rubbing it in in her comment. Not fair!

Well… Tank could get blown up and I wouldn’t complain but that was a different story. LMAO. Oh, Grandpa, how we love to hate you :P

“You’re over six hundred years old. People shouldn’t be calling you Tank. They should be calling you grandpa,” Logan simply stated. THIS STILL MAKES ME LAUGH. STILL.

Love this chapter! Tank is such a grumpalump though, can't wait for that to change. Please update soon (even though I've already read the next chapter mwuahahahaha) <333

I've read this part twice now :) because I can and so I did and it just made me happy, so I'll probably read it again when I've finished writing this comment.

Can I highlight the whole part about Nikolai? I love him. Is that wrong? No, that's allowed isn't it? He's terrifying because he's a gigantic beast that would clearly kill someone he didn't like, yet he's immensely cool.

My brother and I watched as he leaned over and allowed three large drops of blood fall onto the center of the table.
WTF IS HE DOING?

He was going to push us into the hole where some ancient creature was waiting to rip us apart and drink our blood.
Ok if Onolee (which is an epic name btw if I didn't say so before) is scared than I am wetting myself.

Nikolai chuckled. “If I wanted that I would do it myself,” he said with a grin.
I imagine he'd just reach over the table a crush their windpipes with his beefy hands.

“Are you going to tell us why you brought us here or are you going to subtly threaten us all with your human slave,” the demon hissed impatiently.
Little bastard.
I'm in the process of putting faces to characters, your descriptions are excellent. Though I feel someone's still missing...maybe.

His fingers penetrated my skin much deeper than I thought. I could see ribbons of muscle mixed with skin.
He did that much damage just with his fingers? Ok, he goes beyond terrifying now.

The demon grinned. “I like her, Nikolai. She could be fun.”
The demon is still a little bastard, but he made me smile haha. And he should be impressed with her, she's badass.

TANK! THAT'S WHO WAS MISSING.
“We are all here, each representing the most dominant species in this world and a human…”
Oh he didn't! Yeah I can see how they would annoy each other. And I love that Nikolai tells them off like naughty children.

“Oh no. We are not some fucking superhero squad. Do you really expect this to work?”
LOL! Supernatural superhero squad at your service.

How the hell did you manage to bring in a group of brand new characters, yet give them each such distinctive personalities? Seriously, it's incredible. I don't know how you do it, I'm jealous.
You have to update soon. I mean it, otherwise I may combust. COMBUST! that's serious.

“There’s only one thing,” I spoke up successfully quieting the room once more. “I’m the only human. I’m not doing this alone. I want someone else from my team. Someone that I can trust with my life. I want Logan.”

DAMN RIGHT, LADY.

You have no idea how much I love this story. No. Flipping. Idea. And does this update mean that you got some more writing done?! OHEMGEE. SO EXCITED! <333

I get so freaking excited when you update this, but then I get to the end of the chapter and I get so pissed off because I realize I have to wait to read more. I love all of your writing, but this doesn't even read like your writing. It's genuinely like I'm reading a book. Except the waiting on chapters, but not much can be done about that.

The way you've introduced the new characters has me intrigued, and you've woven an entire underworld together and I just want to learn more about it. It's fascinating!

Jesus Christ this is really amazingly written, like I honestly can't wait for you to update. I never really read a lot of supernatural stories on here but I am so glad I got into this one!

Apparently ridding the world of a predominant predator by slicing its head off in the middle of a crowded room was frowned upon. Those actions sent you right to the loony bin. I laughed so hard at that part! Oh my God, I love the narrarator!

From the first part...oh my God! You have me completely hooked. To top it off you have Tom Hardy and Jason Momoa!!! They're perfect for their roles too, I always saw Jason as a werewolf! ;D Great job and you've gained a rec and subscriber!

You got on this quicker than I expected, and so soon after the Apollo update. I'M SO HAPPY!

“Son of a bitch,” I muttered. It would take forever to clean them off and get them looking almost brand new again.
HA! That blood soaked boots are her main concern when she's just tracked and killed a friggin werewolf.

He was heavier than I thought. I hadn’t imagined –even after years of doing this job- that my knees would buckle under the weight of something that was roughly a hundred or so pounds heavier than I was.
I'm just imagining this girl carrying a beast and it's a pretty hilarious sight.

“Baby,” I whisper as my car came into view. Black as night with ruby red interior –easier to hide the blood- Charlotte, my 1982 Pontiac Firebird Trans Am.
Like the knightrider car??? THAT IS AN EPIC VEHICLE.

“Dammit Onolee, you knew I wanted this one.” He was muttering under her breath. I caught a couple of words quite clearly: fucking moron.
Ok, they're both as crazy as one another.

He may be perfect but he was still my little brother and I was going to exploit that until the day that I died.
I love the fact she still treats him exactly the same, even though he has a 'disease pumping through his veins' and she hunts his kind and others for a living.

A hand reached out and gripped my wrist tightly. White hot pain seared up my arm and I let out a surprised scream. “You’re bleeding, Onolee. Go take a fucking shower.” He let go of my wrist almost immediately after he grabbed me.
And then we see that he's clearly very different to regular little brothers. And I love how you described the blood lust, I hate when that's papered over, like it's only a mild issue. But you described the actual struggle, especially if he's finding it hard to even control himself around someone he loves as dearly as his sister.

“It’s a good thing I managed to bite him or else I would have never crawled out of that horribly dug hole you put me in.” My brother winked and pushed me away.
She dug her brother a grave? LOL!

“We have a job, a really big fucking job.”
Is this what lands her in the mental asylum? I mean, hospital for the slightly strange. EXCITED!
I'm going to bug you for updates then. You can't just leave it there, THAT'S NOT FAIR DAMN IT!
I love this story too much. It's everything I could want in a story!
-Goes to gush and cry over it in dark corner-

Oh you posted it just like you said you were going to! I got so excited when I saw your comment.

I felt really bad for Onolee when she saw how young the werewolf was. That would be hard on anyone. And I'm incredibly interested in what this job is going to be! Is it to early to nag you to update again? Because I kind of want to. :)

Loved the update dear!

"We have a job, a really big fucking job."

And so it begins.

THIS CHAPTER. Onolee and Ricky, I love them so much. I love their relationship. They're both so strong and yet so dependent on each other, it's perfect. How you don't have any comments on this chapter yet, I will never understand, but that doesn't matter because this story is effing AWESOME. I can't wait for more <333

I don't really have an excuse for not leaving my soppy comment on this sooner. This was a bad time to go AWOL.

Geez you know how to write a summary. It was the perfect length and has that spark that would instantly have people craving the first part ( and I mean even the hardest to please 'regular' people who take some extreme convincing)

Oh and then there's the small matter of characters. REALLY? are you trying to give me heart failure? Because I believe you've just succeeded. Those are some beautiful people right there.

I sighed and leaned back against the over upholstered couch. It smelled entirely too sterile, nothing like the blood caked furniture I had at home.
Right, remind me not to go around to her house.

I love the fact she knows exactly which question will be asked next and doesn't even have to contemplate the answer beforehand. I imagine this is exactly what it's like in a place like this -whether the patients slightly crazy or not. Though from her replies I do actually believe her.

“And where is your brother now?” She sounded smug now. A small, amused smirk was pulling at one corner of her hard mouth.
I want to punch her in the face.

“What do you mean?” Her voice was hurried with excitement. I had never mentioned Detroit before. Any little bit of new information always got her panties in a twist. It made things more interesting in the long run.
Ha I love that line :) It's obviously really rare that she gets new information.

I threw her a glare. “Yes, other things, werewolves, demons; creatures you tell your children about at night.”

“I don’t have children.”

“I don’t give a fuck, that’s beside the point.
Oh geez, I actually started laughing out loud, and got a really weird look off my sister.

Honestly, I could highlight the entire prologue. It was so bloody hard to pick bits out, and I had to remember go back to do it because I was too caught up in reading. I'm too happy. I can't even put it into words. You know you're my favourite author right? And it's clear you've been working on this for a while, it seems like such an impressive plot with an epic scale and different species of creatures. Thinking about it is about to blow my mind haha.

You had better update soon, or I'll be bugging you to no end ;)

Well then...
The squeal that I let out when I realized what this was, was just a bit inhuman. But that's beside the point.
I FINALLY get to read some of this! And holy CRAP woman!
I love all of your writing, always have, but this...
DAMN.

It really sounds professional. And I'm so so so so so excited to read more of it. :)

This looks so amazing. *recs*

Omg. What is this that I have just read?!

Well, first things first: I love the layout, like… a lot. It just gives off a cool aura… dark and professional. Really good in the eye. ;)

But there’s one thing I love more than the layout; the story plot. Even if I’m still a bit in the dark about what’s exactly going on. I’m just so excited for this to develop. I’m counting on a good supernatural story with believable nonhuman creatures instead of the idiotic ones that partake in most fantasy stories these days. And I have to confess the mystery this prologue gives off had me on the edge of my seat, wishing there was more to read because the whole thing is just that good.

I hated the therapist so much… so arrogant, I swear. >.< but the way Onolee (I still don’t know how you’re going to refer to her, so I’ll stick with the first name for now cx ) dealt with the whole situation was amazing. It made me love her instantly. (:

I can’t wait to know more about the Alliance, though. The way the whole thing was put added to my want for more of this. Seriously, way to leave me aching, you!

*sigh*

Oh, and one more thing that I can’t miss: I just fell in love with your writing. Your style is smooth, captivating and it’s just simply amazing. I would call it brilliant, but I guess you have to post more for me to read…? Hint? ;) No, seriously, it’s beautiful. Very much gorgeous and professional like. I love it! Keep that up. :)

And update soon! Please. :3

AWWW YEAH! IT'S FINALLY UP! And I get first comment, I WIN!

The picture you have of Tom Hardy, oh my....I almost die. Every single time.

That therapist needs a nice punch to the teeth. I swear to God. You know how much I love this story but let me just tell you again...I EFFING LOVE THIS! SO MUCH! I can not wait for more! <333