Sweet Little Girl - Comments

I agree with Kainder. I believe this was beautiful and delicate, just like the victim before her uncle took advantage of her. It remembers her as a sad and fragile girl and then when you mix "Sometimes I wish I was dead," it just works amazing. It gave me complete chills. Ernest Hemmingway once said that he could write a great story in just six words. He wrote "For Sale: Baby shoes, never worn." It broke thousands of hearts, but he did it. I'm afraid you've lived up to it. You wrote a great novel in one chapter. Congrats.

I'm going to have to disagree with one of my predecessors in that I do not wish there was more to this.

Not because it's bad--- but the opposite. I don't want you to ruin a beautiful thing. The message is sent clearly.

I don't think it was quite so 'powerful'. The victimization was a little pushed. Just a tad. It wasn't over the top, but at some point I felt a little beat with how bad she feels about herself.

I understand that you were really trying to broadcast that message though--- and a little too much is a lot better than not even enough.

I love that you never say what happened to her, but through her memories, through her pain, we know what she went through.

I love that you never described anything, but I have a very clear and vivid image. I love that it begins with a feeling and ends with a feeling. I think the most powerful thing is that the first sentence is "I am numb", and the last is "Sometimes I wish I was dead".

I feel like these two things could be put together, and we'd know right away this is a girl who is in tremendous pain.

But I feel like there's a hope in "sometimes". Like it's just enough to let us know that an uprising is coming.

This, this short piece that doesn't have narrative, description, real dialogue, or even a plot...is a full novel.

Kudos to you.

I really wish there were more chapters to read. I'm not even kidding when I say I really like this story. It's absolutely beautiful. I am definitely subscribing and recommending, please update soon! :)

Comment swap~

This really hit home. It's a beautiful piece of work, it's really touching. I didn't expect the story to take the turn that it did. I really hate that stuff like this goes on all the time. It's so sad.
Although, you have a great piece of writing on your hands, I loved it.

Oh my God. Ashlee...this...this really hit home. I'm crying, but I'm not offended--God no! This was beautiful, emotional, and I just can't get over this. I was listening to this while reading it...it definitely made the reading experience a whole lot more emotional.

beautiful writing, don't ever give it up. <3