Ferry - Comments

  • paracosm.

    paracosm. (110)

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    So I looked through all of your stories, and this was the one that immediately appealed to me. xD From just reading the summary, I'm already really intrigued. It's short and snappy and I'm a sucker for apocalypse stories so there you go. I'm curious to see where the title derives from, though. O.O

    I love how short the first chapter is. I say this to a lot of people, but really that's what a first chapter needs to be - short, sweet and eyecatching. I also like the style you write in, it's very narrator-based and often rambly (that sounds really negative but I assure you it's not). Like this part;

    It happened to be true though. The world ending, anyway. It did. Sort of.

    It gives a lot of voice to the narrator and makes him sound really realistic. It's sort of a train-of-thought style of writing.

    Woah Cali's dead?! I thought she was going to be the main character. O.o But anyway, this was really interesting. I thought this was going to be a typical zombie story, so the sight of the boy threw me off a little. But I liked the description of his eyes. 'Beady' just really reminds me of a bird, and that makes him seem kinda disturbing to me. Shifty

    And I agree with you whole heartedly. Thinking up names for chapters is hard. Usually I just give up and name it after a song lyric or something.
    February 23rd, 2013 at 05:08pm
  • Jordypye

    Jordypye (1400)

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    Thank you for entering you story in my promo :)
    January 27th, 2013 at 01:44am
  • QuietSports

    QuietSports (100)

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    This is getting REALLY intriguing....
    January 22nd, 2013 at 06:19am
  • OkayChris05

    OkayChris05 (100)

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    Alright I'm so ready to read what's next I love finding great stories like these on Mibba so original. Can't wait to read more/
    January 21st, 2013 at 01:05am
  • QuietSports

    QuietSports (100)

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    Oh damn... Judgement of sin.... Hahaha I know sooo many people who would be screwed!
    January 17th, 2013 at 12:27am
  • QuietSports

    QuietSports (100)

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    Hmm.... What oh what is through the light.... -settles in to wait-
    January 15th, 2013 at 04:39am
  • QuietSports

    QuietSports (100)

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    This sentence confused me...

    Cali's eyes burned from the sudden light flooding... everything, and she winced, writhing around on the floor of the boat.

    Anyway, loved the chapter!
    January 13th, 2013 at 11:50pm
  • QuietSports

    QuietSports (100)

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    So, I am speechless.... And I can't wait to see where this story goes. <3 Definitely subscribing and recommending!
    January 11th, 2013 at 06:34am
  • slutculture

    slutculture (100)

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    I'm digging the layout. It's not too simple without being too overboard and it fits quite well with the story and the mood, which I'm a massive fan of. The summary is interesting, because it's not your typical summary - it's, well I don't know, I liked it anyway. It gave enough... detail? to support the story and I don't think you should change it so yay!

    Just a note, in the first chapter there was this line: "When said the world was going to end, did you believe it?" - the wording at the beginning got me muddled. I think you might be missing a word or something; it's just not flowing right.

    Normally, I would criticize the over-usage of fragment sentences, but I'm kind of torn with them. On one end, they add to the character and narration of the story, but at the same time they're grammatically incorrect - you feel me? Well, it's up to you with what you do with them (:

    Okay wow! That first? chapter! I definitely was not expecting that haha but I did enjoy it! This is actually really exciting. Again, with the fragments, that's up to you to decide what to do with them. Personally, there are a lot that could be avoided but it's up to you (:

    Subscribing! x
    December 29th, 2012 at 03:56am
  • River Song

    River Song (100)

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    I love this! I was just complaining about how there isn't much Original Fiction on Mibba that entices me, then I stumble upon this. Brilliant!
    December 29th, 2012 at 02:05am
  • Robin 'The Sidekick'

    Robin 'The Sidekick' (100)

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    I have no idea why this chapter made me giggle. But at the end because you made it like that. I like the idea of this. Even though those dates are over, you're re-creating something that already happened. Giving it your own twist and making it something fictional.

    Sorta like the Titanic movie

    But I like this. I can't believe it doesn't have any comments yet. :o
    December 26th, 2012 at 05:26am