Christmas Dancing - Comments

Okay hey okay, so I know I already read this...and commented, but I completely forgot about having read it...oops. And I must say, I've fallen in love with all over again. Honestly, it's written so well. Grammatically correct, it's a lovely story...has the potential to really be a really great chaptered story. *hint hint* Honestly though, I love this! You have some real talent hun. x

Hey!

Like somebody mentioned before, your grammar isn't perfect, but the mistakes are few and small. Don't worry, we all make them. Here on Mibba there are some articles and tutorials on how to correct the most common mistakes, check them out (and I should do the same)

As for the plot, I'm not a 1D fan, so I don't read a lot of fanfiction about them. But this one is rather heart warming. I love how Harry wears a onesie I don't like Christmas because of reasons but this story made me like it for a moment

Comment Swap!

Okay, I don't like One Direction in the slightest. HOWEVER, this story was adorable, and Harry is probably the cutest one out of the group. I love the GIF at the top of your layout, and just the layout in general. I love the concept and how simple it was (the joy of waking up with your boyfriend on Christmas, A.K.A. one of the best Christmas gifts you can receive). Very nice!

I like to get critisism out of the way first. That's just how I am, so here you go. You have a few basic grammar issues, mostly in your dialogue. Like, if a lone of dialogue ends with you clarifying that he said/she said/was the reply, the dialogue ends with a comma and the next word isn't capitalized. Unless it's a proper noun, obviously. You did have one instance where you ended dialogue with a comma where it actually should have been a period because what came next was not a continuation of the statement. But your idea is cute. It's sweet and an interesting Christmas idea. And your characters can stand alone regardless of previous knowledge of actual people. So, good job on that.

I've been brought here from Comment Swap :)

I'm not a fan of One Direction, so some of it was confusing. I'm not sure who Harry is, for starters. But let's focus on the story quality, shall we?

Layout: I really liked the way you had this set up. It's elegant, yet simple. It's easy on the eyes, which is a quality that not everyone has. You though, darling, have got that quality in the palm of your hand.

Spelling/Grammar: I didn't see any mistakes, to be honest. I really loved the way you did this. There was a lot of detail, which is something everyone loves. Detail is the "underground" part of the story.

Concept: Even though I'm not entirely sure who Harry is, I thought this story was adorable. It defiantly made me smile. It's a habit of mine to picture myself as the main character, and I had a silly smile on my face most of the time throughout this story.

Overall, you're a great writer. I defiantly think you should continue. I assume this is a one shot and, if so, I'd consider doing more. You're great at it! (:

That was really great! and I will be reading more once you update it. I wasn't expecting most of the events in the story which made it even more surprising, which is good. The theme is really cool too and I can't wait to read more. Great plot and the gif you chose is lovely ahh Niall <3 Nice title too, and also good choice of vocab. I loved it :)

Dear author, I enjoyed reading this. Honestly it was so cute. C: Brownie points for the summary, it was deep. C: I loved your simple descriptions, the situations your characters were in and the end was every girls dream (having the guy you love giving you for Christmas what you really wanted: that means he really cared and loved her). I'm glad the comment swap thingy brought me here so I could read this cute little Christmas story. XD ~Marian.

Dear author, I enjoyed reading this. Honestly it was so cute. C: Brownie points for the summary, it was deep. C: I loved your simple descriptions, the situations your characters were in and the end was every girls dream (having the guy you love giving you for Christmas what you really wanted: that means he really cared and loved her). I'm glad the comment swap thingy brought me here so I could read this cute little Christmas story. XD ~Marian.

Comment swap sent me here, too.

I'm not a big fan of One Direction, but this was such an adorable story! I could practically see everything that you described in my head. You're a really great writer. I didn't find any mistakes in the story, either. You did a fantastic job.

Comment swap sent me here.

I nearly cried when I saw the banner, not even gonna lie. I can't stand One Direction, sorry! I'll keep my opinions of the band out of the writing part of things though. Aside from their faces (sorry again!), your layout is simple and cute. I like it.

I was pleasantly surprised by this. It's really adorable, and you've got a lovely style of writing, very easy to read. You seem to balance both description and dialogue really well, and the description that you have written is pretty in-depth. I'm not sure which one is Harry (I assume he's the curly-haired one at the front of the banner, but I'm not 100%), but aside from that, I can picture everything perfectly.

I could only see one grammar error - “Five more minutes, boo.” should have a comma at the end instead of a full stop - but it isn't repeated anywhere else in the piece, so I don't think it was intentional.

All in all, cute, adorable and perfectly written. I like it!

*Comment swap sent me here*
I'm not a big fan of one direction...nor their fan fics, but this is really good! It's very well written, the concept is lovely and would really work for a number of themes which is good. I would actually love to see this extended, and made into a chaptered story! I would most definitely read it, regardless of the fact that it's a 1d fic.
And it's so so cute :') You're a really good writer, you have potential for some very good things, keep it up! xx

Comment swap brought me here.
I'm not a fan of one direction, but I really liked this. It was put together beautifully, and I don't think I caught any mistakes. I could actually picture what was going on.
Great job.

I guess that last paragraph was actually TWO little things.... my bad :P

I guess that last paragraph was actually TWO little things.... my bad :P

Cute :)

I liked this because it was light-hearted and fun! I don't usually adore 1D fanfics, because they rely so much on the fact that they are One Direction, but this was nice because it could stand even if Harry's character was...Charles or someone.

I think you managed to capture a good idea of Christmas in here, too. Being with the ones you love for one whole day, and letting nothing else interrupt that. Very nice job. :D

One little thing though (boo hiss, I know). When you are explaining the history of the record player, you deviate (just once) from the past tense style; yous say "that currently lies on my lap" which is present tense. Also, towards the end, you use the phrase "proud-ness" which probably should be "pride". But those are just little things, the story over all was fun and uplifting, so I like it. :)

*Comment Swap*

This was actually a good one direction fan-fic :3 Normally I wouldn't read anything 1D but this was good. Your layout is great and I love the little action thingy ma bobber at the top :) I didn't see any grammar errors or anything so overal, great. Keep it up and happy writing :3

It does not suck!! I loved it! Thank you so much :)