July 10th, 2013 at 04:57am
Ohman, Your opening was so spectacular and really captivating (much like the whole story) it really catches your attention right from the start.
This was so beautiful, it really made me feel for the characters and that doesn't happen very often to me.
And do I even need to mention your writing style? It's so, for lack of better words perfect it's almost softly spoken but at the same time it's so full on and you pick up on every little detail of it. I love how you give the reader a good sense of what's happening so you almost just get what's going on but you know fully well at the same time.
I love the layout, the links could maybe be a little smaller but besides that it's perfect, much like the story.
Like the best way I can describe it is like naked pictures in museums like this is not porn THIS IS ART GODDAMMIT calling it porn would be a disgrace this is art actually. Like I just love those sort of weird/strange metaphors because they always resonate most with me and my favourite parts have to be first of all Dominic's breath travelling in clouds like wow that's sort of incredibly beautiful and we JUST STARTED.
And the like he's keeping the world from falling off his axis like WOW THE EMOTIONS THAT ARE SEEPED INTO THOSE WORDS WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO BE I'M DELICATE LIKE A FLOWER I CAN'T EVEN HANDLE THAT.
And just everything in the parenthesis, that's such an interesting style it almost makes it feel super poetic, actually it is poetic and I love it. The whole (on alcohol, on Dominic) and (to taste the sounds) like wow were you trying to make me fall in love with this because it WORKED. I just totally love how it's different but interesting I am super digging the parenthesis good job on that.
And just the ATMOSPHERE BETWEEN THEM I cannot even describe the way this makes me feel like it's just so soft but rushed and sort of focusing and unfocusing hazy feel to it that totally compliments the characters and I am going to reiterate the part about ART because yeah um that's what this is wow. And just the little dabbles of dialogue that surface just add to the piece so much even though they're so short they just have so much impact like the whole touch me thing just wow.
AND THEN THE ENDING WAS JUST ADORABLE IN THE WAY WHERE WOW. Like I don't even know what to do with all these emotions because this and nope that's it I'm done I love it. I cannot fully express how much I love it but oh my god I do this is perfect wow I'm sorry I say wow a lot but that's my emotions towards this just wow a++ you should be so proud of this because it's awesome.