Refrain - Comments

  • turducken

    turducken (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    28
    Location:
    Canada
    Ugh okay so generally I am bad at expressing my love but I AM EXPRESSING IT HAPHAZARDLY AND I AM SORRY BUT I MUST DO IT. First of all I am instantly drawn to sort of unconventional fucked up sorts of characters so when we just totally admitted about the suicide thing and Abe was just like what are the character interaction it was like the love at first paragraph type of thing that only got better as I continued.

    Like the best way I can describe it is like naked pictures in museums like this is not porn THIS IS ART GODDAMMIT calling it porn would be a disgrace this is art actually. Like I just love those sort of weird/strange metaphors because they always resonate most with me and my favourite parts have to be first of all Dominic's breath travelling in clouds like wow that's sort of incredibly beautiful and we JUST STARTED.

    And the like he's keeping the world from falling off his axis like WOW THE EMOTIONS THAT ARE SEEPED INTO THOSE WORDS WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO BE I'M DELICATE LIKE A FLOWER I CAN'T EVEN HANDLE THAT.

    And just everything in the parenthesis, that's such an interesting style it almost makes it feel super poetic, actually it is poetic and I love it. The whole (on alcohol, on Dominic) and (to taste the sounds) like wow were you trying to make me fall in love with this because it WORKED. I just totally love how it's different but interesting I am super digging the parenthesis good job on that.

    And just the ATMOSPHERE BETWEEN THEM I cannot even describe the way this makes me feel like it's just so soft but rushed and sort of focusing and unfocusing hazy feel to it that totally compliments the characters and I am going to reiterate the part about ART because yeah um that's what this is wow. And just the little dabbles of dialogue that surface just add to the piece so much even though they're so short they just have so much impact like the whole touch me thing just wow.

    AND THEN THE ENDING WAS JUST ADORABLE IN THE WAY WHERE WOW. Like I don't even know what to do with all these emotions because this and nope that's it I'm done I love it. I cannot fully express how much I love it but oh my god I do this is perfect wow I'm sorry I say wow a lot but that's my emotions towards this just wow a++ you should be so proud of this because it's awesome.
    July 10th, 2013 at 04:57am
  • Hannibal Lecter

    Hannibal Lecter (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    30
    Location:
    Australia
    Ohman, Your opening was so spectacular and really captivating (much like the whole story) it really catches your attention right from the start.
    This was so beautiful, it really made me feel for the characters and that doesn't happen very often to me.
    And do I even need to mention your writing style? It's so, for lack of better words perfect it's almost softly spoken but at the same time it's so full on and you pick up on every little detail of it. I love how you give the reader a good sense of what's happening so you almost just get what's going on but you know fully well at the same time.
    I love the layout, the links could maybe be a little smaller but besides that it's perfect, much like the story.
    May 9th, 2013 at 02:49am
  • wowfairy13

    wowfairy13 (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    30
    Location:
    United States
    Wow I really like this, especially your writing style. Great work!
    April 29th, 2013 at 06:40am
  • aubs

    aubs (420)

    :
    Drabble Scribe
    Gender:
    Age:
    30
    Location:
    United States
    Oh my. This was fantastic. I don't usually read stuff like this (but have in the past, thankfully), and really didn't know what I was expecting. But I can tell you that this was not what I was expecting. I really liked the relationship between Abe and Dominic; I guess I've always been a sucker for one-shots about two people who have never met.

    Anyway, the description in this piece was magnificent. There was enough to show the reader what was happening, along with what the two were feeling, but you didn't go too much into detail. I don't know how to really explain it. There was just enough amazing and beautiful description for a piece like this. This was just completely amazing. Good job!
    March 1st, 2013 at 03:34am
  • Elephant PJs

    Elephant PJs (365)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    28
    Location:
    New Zealand
    Helen quoted all the same things I want to tehe

    Once again, your opening line is spectacular. Totally gripping and once again, the rest is equally, if not more, captivating.

    You make me ache. There was something so, so intimate about this and it was beautiful. Just the little details during the sex were amazing - they took away from the real smutty side of the action and turned it into something different (even though it was still ohmygoshsohot).

    That last little bit made my day. The 'smoky breath' description was oddly appealing Think
    So good Clap
    (I'm liking this string of original fic Weird)
    January 11th, 2013 at 12:00pm
  • What...

    What... (1400)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    19
    Location:
    United States
    They walk through the door and all Abe wants is to be touched.
    Abe. Abe stop. HE'S TOO BEAUTIFUL I JUST WANT HIM TO BE HAPPY... TRACY? PLEASE?

    He can’t imagine giving himself to Dominic like this.
    Abe. Abe Cry YOU HAVE TO LOVE HIM. YOU'RE KILLING ME ABE.

    “This"

    Dominic why? Cry Dominic... YOU GUYS JUST NEED TO GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER BECAUSE I KNOW YOU CAN FALL IN LOVE. YOU TOLD HIM YOU TRIED TO KILL YOURSELF. DOMINIC WHY?

    This comment is a mess but it's more than porn. It's beautiful. You're beautiful. I love your existence.
    January 8th, 2013 at 08:30pm
  • AHLICE

    AHLICE (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    27
    Location:
    United States
    It seems you're one of the only good original slash author(s) left on Mibba. Your writing is passionate, soft; a type of philisophical literature the sneaks up on you and blows up in your face. On top of that, I love how you don't have reference pictures or shit like that; I can imagine the two boys how I want to imagine them, pretty much, and leaves some imagination to me, but not all.

    This was great. Reading again.

    And yes I read this super fast, but I always read faster and faster when a story is really good, so I'm gonna have to go back over and really let every word sit.
    January 8th, 2013 at 06:59pm