Triangles - Comments

(Not a comment swap wow)
I really, really enjoyed reading this, Echo is such a great character and you should be proud of her :') I am in love with how you've portrayed Sean, and how you made Gavin actually fall for Echo. The ending was amazing because Echo and Sean are finally together and that's all I wanted when reading the whole thing :D

Also, if you don't mind me asking, whereabouts are you from if you speak Welsh? Like, north, mid, west or south Wales? :p

Comment swap :) so even if I didn't want to swap I would still comment because I love this story already and I've. Only read 2 chapters. The way you write it is amazing, it can be confusing at times but it make the story all the more better. Now I don't know who you made the fan fiction based off of but I shall look them up because I like the way you describe all of it. :)

Comment swap! Okay, so I really love the title for this story. Typically, one word titles can be a bit aggravating, but it did catch my attention. I typically don't read these kinds of stories impartially, but I liked it. I didn't get around to reading all of it, but you're a good writer! Like some of the grammar is off, but that's really no big deal. I have that kind of stuff all of the time! Other than that, this is perfect! You should definitely continue with your writing career!

Comment swap! Okay, so I really love the title for this story. Typically, one word titles can be a bit aggravating, but it did catch my attention. I typically don't read these kinds of stories impartially, but I liked it. I didn't get around to reading all of it, but you're a good writer! Like some of the grammar is off, but that's really no big deal. I have that kind of stuff all of the time! Other than that, this is perfect! You should definitely continue with your writing career!

Comment Swap here

I know you've probably heard it a million times but I LOVE your layout. It's just chilled out and awesomely green. The title is really eye catching, which is good and draws the reader in. I only had time to read a few chapters but from what I've read- it's really good. Have confidence in yourself, you're a talented writer The changing tenses however were a bit of a distraction along with the odd grammar mistake- but it's no biggie and can easily be fixed. Overall an awesome concept from what I read I'll be recommending

Comment Swap :)
I really enjoyed this, the plot is exciting and original. The layout is great too, it's kinda chilled and relaxed. Your writing is really good, however i did spot a few tense errors which were a bit confusing and distracting, but they could be sorted with a proof read. i like the concept of love triangles but only if they're written well and this really is. you're a really talented writer you just need so faith in yourself x

Comment Swap:
I really like the layout. It's relaxing and the green is nice. I like the story itself, because the plot is exciting and nice. But you have to proofread a little more because there are grammatical errors that were distracting. The tenses don't match up occasionally and it's a little confusing to read. HOWEVER: this story is still good. If you fixed what I/other people have said, it would be a fantastic story. :)

The layout of your story, really is soothing and different from the ones I've seen before. The title caught my attention too, so that's a good thing. As far as love triangles are concerned, I don't mind them unless they are written nicely.
Your story is good and your writing too. It's simple and easy going. One thing i"d like to add is that you don't have to apologize for crappy chapters every time. They are good and it actually depends on the reader, unless there are whole lot of spelling and grammatical mistakes. Have faith in your writing and enjoy it.
Great job !!

The layout of your story, really is soothing and different from the ones I've seen before. The title caught my attention too, so that's a good thing. As far as love triangles are concerned, I don't mind them unless they are written nicely.
Your story is good and your writing too. It's simple and easy going. One thing i"d like to add is that you don't have to apologize for crappy chapters every time. They are good and it actually depends on the reader, unless there are whole lot of spelling and grammatical mistakes. Have faith in your writing and enjoy it.
Great job !!

Comment Swap

I just want to point out I'm not really fan of stories that use unique names, just pointing it out there. As a few others have pointed out you have made some grammatical and tense errors. It really is distracting to me.

I do feel that there is a lot of traits you have with Echo that you need to fine tune a bit better. I was really disconnected with her, it felt like she was all over the place with her thoughts and how she perceived people. I agree with AngelBlue on how fast she fell in love, and love does take time to develop. Perhaps having a crush could be your angle until she does truly feel like she is in love?

Anyways, you have done well with what you have done. Great job!

{Comment Swap}
I really like your layout, the green feels really warm and the black text makes it easy to read.
With regards to the story the general idea of it is pretty good. I like the title of the sotry in particular as it is really eye catching. As some of the other comments have said, you have some tense and grammatical errors that need fixed and I would have to agree with the comment that says Echo talking out to the read detracts from the story. Personally, I found it quite distracting.
A few other things I feel need mentioned from a few of the earlier chapters; Echo calls herself arrogant but arrogant people don't tend to admit they're arrogant as a particular trait. It's more admitted when apologising or a trait assigned by other people. Also, Echo kept saying she didn't trust Shaun yet calls him her friend. Calling someone your friend requires a degree of trust in my opinion and that just doesn't seem to add up in my eyes. And lastly, you have her immediately jump to the 'I don't love him. I can't love him' process of thought. Given that, from what I could see, she'd only known him a week or so if that the most she'd really have is a marked interest in him. It takes time for 'love' to come into the equation.Those are just a few points I feel could be reworked.

Anyway, the story has potential and you have a lot of aspects that promise some interesting development. Keep it up! X

@ GoodGirl;
Thanks for pointing the Tense problem out, I hadn't noticed! What grammar mistakes did you find? I'm constantly getting confused with when to use Have and when to use Of. Thank you for the feedback :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Comment Swap~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So, I like the idea.. I'm a fan of love triangles and the emotional terror they cause... Honestly, who isn't? I like the idea and the color for the layout, which is light hearted. I do have to say, however, that I've noticed some severe problems with the verbs and their tenses. Your story keeps switching from past to present, and that is rather confusing. Also, your character is talking straight to the audience and in my opinion, that is taking away from the story. There are a few grammar issues, but they aren't major and I'm sure that your writing has improved since you've written this, so I don't have to point them out and that you'll notice them, but if you want, then I can point them out for you specifically.

Your writing style for this is fantastic - simplistic, straight-forward, but lively. The layout was the first thing to jump out at me, and then literally the story, as if it were happening inside a caricature of my own boring life. So far, I love the theme that you portray...especially attaining to the characters, like Echo, and Gavin :)

@ freaks.
Thank you :) I'll change it when I get back to a computer of some form

Yes. Maybe black?

@ freaks.
Thanks for the comment! :) do you think the layout would work better if the text were a darker colour?

First of all, I'm not really into crazy names. But Echo is so appropriate I didn't even mind. I'm not a fan of the layout, however, it was hard for me to read. Your story is really original and I liked it. Keep up the good work.

@ cherry.berry
That's actually very interesting about the layout, I never thought of that! It was supposed to be red with like a red brick wall as a background, but I lost my temper with it and just did it gre en x) thank you so much for the comment!! xx

* Comment swap *

Let me start off by saying that I know absolutely nothing about either Sean or Gavin outside of this story, and I was really worried about that when I realized this was a fan fiction, but it doesn't even matter! You've written all of your characters very well. Possibly my favorite part was in the second chapter or so when Echo described Sean as a loud little ball of fluff. Adorable. Echo herself makes me sad. I just want to give her a hug. Your layout is very nice, by the way - I almost expected it to be blue once I started reading, because of Echo's hair, but I like the green! ANyways, great job!