solitude - Comments

I really like the description in this and the way the story flowed, it had an effortless feel to it but also I could picture everything in my head which I quite liked. I’m not sure who she’s missing though, I’m guessing it’s her dad? Regardless, it was an interesting way to interpret the picture and I liked that you took a darker approach to the rather happy-ish looking photo. Thanks for entering!

This was interesting. It's her dad she misses right?

It's a little depressing, I think the end kind of led to nowhere. It was dramatic and kind of felt like it means something, but...it kind of didn't, you know? Is there a boy that she is married to that she loves? Is she waiting for someone? It feels incomplete.

Also, there are missing capitals and spelling mistakes that you should consider fixing. They are really distracting from your writing. Like one two...could stay lower case because that's really cool how you stopped the story in such a way, but the other things like the start of sentences and such need to be fixed.

Also it would be really interesting if you could tighten the story with more of her thoughts into this. Does she believe in God, what's this absence she feels? She's just saying that she believes there is almost nothing for her. And that means that she has less meaning in her life in this moment, and thus this story piece has less meaning. Does she feel anything inside? I know she feels the rain and the sun, but her own beliefs? The solitude, perhaps explain that more, what is she away from, seems to be surrounded and feeling things, but she just isn't thinking.

Anyways, best of luck. I hope I said something beneficial.