As far as first impressions go, I think I got a pretty good feel in regard to what the story is going to be about from the summary page. I think the layout is cute, and I like that you kept it simple and were able to include graphics without making it incredibly distracting for the reader. I also really liked the simplicity of the summary, and I thought it definitely served its purpose well. It gave me enough to intrigue me as a reader and draw me into the story without giving the entire plot away. Honestly, I was also really excited to read this because I gathered from the first page that this story was going to involve pregnancy, which is personally one of my favorite topics to read about.
Moving onto the actual content of the story, I thought you did a really good job with the characterization of the main character and portraying the relationship that she had with her husband, which was really cute, by the way. I also thought you did a really wonderful job of describing the mixed emotion and initial anxiety of a young woman on the verge of finding out whether or not she was pregnant. Another aspect of this oneshot that I found downright adorable was how you include the dog Loco as a character in his own right, which is something I see rarely done with dogs. Usually they’re just mentioned once and forgotten about in stories. I thought you did an awesome job with detail and following the main character’s thought process, and I felt like I was really there in that pivotal moment with her.
As far as constructive criticism goes, I have to be honest and say that there were many grammatical errors throughout the length of this piece. Another aspect of the story that was a little off to me as a reader was that, in the beginning, I found the main character to be a bit immature, especially when it came to assuming that everyone around her was judging her for buying a pregnancy test. I can be a bit more understanding with being uncomfortable going in the feminine product aisle because I can see that as being more of a character quirk, but unless this girl looks incredibly young, no one’s going to judge a twenty-five year old, married woman for purchasing a pregnancy test, so I thought that a bit was a little too exaggerated for my tastes.
Overall, I really enjoyed reading this piece. I thought it was a really cute, fluff read, and I have to admit that my favorite part about this piece is that it wasn’t all doom and gloom. The couple is having to overcome an obstacle, but it’s shown in a more positive light, and as an incurable optimist, that’s something I really appreciate reading. Thanks for entering
Moving onto the actual content of the story, I thought you did a really good job with the characterization of the main character and portraying the relationship that she had with her husband, which was really cute, by the way. I also thought you did a really wonderful job of describing the mixed emotion and initial anxiety of a young woman on the verge of finding out whether or not she was pregnant. Another aspect of this oneshot that I found downright adorable was how you include the dog Loco as a character in his own right, which is something I see rarely done with dogs. Usually they’re just mentioned once and forgotten about in stories. I thought you did an awesome job with detail and following the main character’s thought process, and I felt like I was really there in that pivotal moment with her.
As far as constructive criticism goes, I have to be honest and say that there were many grammatical errors throughout the length of this piece. Another aspect of the story that was a little off to me as a reader was that, in the beginning, I found the main character to be a bit immature, especially when it came to assuming that everyone around her was judging her for buying a pregnancy test. I can be a bit more understanding with being uncomfortable going in the feminine product aisle because I can see that as being more of a character quirk, but unless this girl looks incredibly young, no one’s going to judge a twenty-five year old, married woman for purchasing a pregnancy test, so I thought that a bit was a little too exaggerated for my tastes.
Overall, I really enjoyed reading this piece. I thought it was a really cute, fluff read, and I have to admit that my favorite part about this piece is that it wasn’t all doom and gloom. The couple is having to overcome an obstacle, but it’s shown in a more positive light, and as an incurable optimist, that’s something I really appreciate reading. Thanks for entering