Jumper - Comments

This is unique. But the spelling errors really throw the flow of the story off. It's best to fix them right away, but you do have a lovely writing style. I only read the first chapter, but I can tell that this is a really good story. Just work on your tenses. :)

Summary:
The summary before the * does sound a bit of a cliché. Yet the last liner kind of makes me go ahead and read it to see what you have that can possibly make this plot fresh and new.

After the *, I like the little description you have and detailing for his eyes and kiss. It does kind of push away the cliché before the ** and you did something that usually doesn't happen with this plot which makes me curious what the chapters have inside.

Chapter 1: Crazy for Him

In the first like you have the word screaching misspelled and it makes the line sound awkward. (Try reading your chapters out loud before posting! Major help to avoid this.)

For the line: I'm one of the first one's there. That one's should be ones for I don't think you wanted that to be possessive.

I scream and my brakes scream in harmony with me. could also be My breaks scream in harmony with me or My breaks and I scream in harmony just to make it a bit less wordy.

I'm also not sure if you wanted this is present or past perspective for you're switching back and forth with each of them through out the chapter. Like you go from say to said which really isn't clean.

Other than that, it's likable. If you just fix those things I listed then you have a pretty thing on your hands.

Excellent first few chapters. I really am looking forward to the paranormal part of it! Keep it up!

aww thanks!

This is really good, I'm really into it and can't wait for the next chapter!