Lucifer's Angel - Comments

@ rachthebat.
Yes, he was. :D He's not the only one though.

And thank you. He's the closest to what Roy looks like in my mind, so I went with him! :D I still have one more team member to add, along with a couple of other characters later on, so keep an eye out for them! :D Thanks for the comment!

My feels for Roy have just increased tenfold! He was blackmailed into fighting? That's so sad.

I hope Mary will forgive him. Yes, he was an ass for the way he spoke to her, but he is a soldier. They are trained to not feel, to not show emotion. Hopefully, she can get some sleep and then make a decision when her mind isn't so bogged down with tiredness. I really like Mary and Roy! :)

I'm really liking the picture you used for Roy, too haha.

@ domi823
Thank you for the comment! I appreciate it! The thing with this story, is it drives on the personalities of the characters. The character's personality comes in within the next few chapters. :)

Hello! I'm here from my giveaway :)

Summary: I don't say this much, but I like how your summary is a passage from what I'm guessing will be in this story? It gives insight of what's to come.

Chapter 1:
Throwing the reader right into the drama told me that this is going to be an intense story. The tentacle you described is strange and I can't wait to find out what was in that darkness. Also, I have to say your diction is exquisite. The beginning of this chapter was written beautifully.

Chapter 2:
The beginning gave me feels. Your figurative language lets me feel what James feels and I love it!

The stone is brought up again. I wonder what the story is behind it?

I'm also interested in what James said about hell not truly existing. It's strange since the story mentions Lucifer so many times.

Chapter 3:
I'm loving the nickname xD This chapter was a tad slow for me, but I saw how it was purposeful to introduce some characters.

Overall, I like where this is going. One thing I suggest is to add some more depth to the characters but that's about it. I'm going to subscribe and I shall leave now to continue reading!

@ rachthebat.
Lol, it's okay!

He's the teams warrant officer so that's kind of his job. ^_^

I still can't believe I thought Roy was in his fifties hahaha.

I love Jean ^.^ That he's the only one that Roy will let boss him around, so to speak. It's sweet.

The war sounded horrible! Poor Roy. I don't think Mary hates him, she's probably a little pissed at him, but I don't think she hates him.

Oh, wow. So Roy was "The Executioner" yeah, that explains why he's getting so many flashbacks and what not. So, am I right in thinking he would have had to execute people?

@ rachthebat.
There's nothing... too bad. Yet. I'm still (well, sorta) planning the second half of this story. And not to mention a possible sequel to Lucifer's Angel in the first place.

@ Symbiont
Oh gods, I shall prepare for the worst!

@ rachthebat.
Well, of course! :D Remember my code message!

@ Symbiont
oh, OH! Something bad is going to happen isn't it?

@ rachthebat.
It's not so much Mary that he's telling him to keep an eye on, it's all of them. :)

I am confused. Haha. Who's the caller? And why is he telling the doc to keep an eye on Mary? So many questions!

@ Rebell
Thank you. :D I'm glad you like it!

I love the interactions between people in this story. I also love how well the action is paced. And your dialogue, it's perfect! It's great! I'm really excited to read more!

I love that Mary and Jean can have conversations where no one else can hear, it's so cool. I'd love to have that ability! I wonder how long Mary is going to stay pissed at Michaels for.

It's not good for Mary to bottle up her pain, like Jean said, she wouldn't want to have some kind of break down like Maria. I hope she opens up to him soon, I can't see her talking to anyone else about it.

Holy shit, that was close! Good ole Jean and his reflexes saving the day :D I have a bad feeling now that something is going to happen on the drive! Monaco just voiced my thoughts haha.

I'd hate to be a fly on the wall in the back of the car with Mary and Michaels, I'm sure that will be a barrel of laughs..NOT! Haha.

More soon, please and thank you :D

@ Death The Angel
Thank you! :D

I don't read many war stories so this was interesting! I liked the detail you had to this and the plot is very has a lot of potential, I'm keen to see where you take this :)

@ dr. faustus
Thanks for the comment.

This is supposed to be kind of an alternate world, heavily world war 2 influenced. I'm quite glad you caught that. :) Yes, Elizabeth's death was quite random, but that was intentional. The first couple of chapters are just supposed to be a prologue of sorts, so that's why. Other things will be less random, I hope. :)

Thanks! :D

The summary pulled me in - the setting of these two characters made me want more and by the end of the conversation, I wanted to know more about this and what was happening. The title drew me - demons, devils and dark shit is basically my thing. I am a fan of the supernatural. With that in mind, I am very intrigued to read the first chapter.

I thought this was an okay read, a little slow for my liking, but purposeful. There was a lot I liked throughout the beginning that I will point out, and also, a few things I did not, but overall, not what I was expecting and I know it's still the beginning and I did read the first two chapters, but I was expecting more character depth and action scenes. I thought the death of Elizabeth was sudden and out of place, which you've even stated in your author notes that it came out of no where.

But I liked how you threw a little bit of military background in this, I liked that aspect the most - at first I thought this was set in WWII or something because of the repeated phrase of "Fuhrer" for their leader or maybe Lucifer himself - but that was interesting.

"I was fragile, small, like a feather in existence, or even less, I was just a speck of dirt in the vastness of space." - this would have to be my favorite line in the entire story - I liked the beginning portion on how James questioned his very existence and felt worthless because everything he ever believed in was a lie and that really took a toll on him - you described that beautifully - it was rather sad in a way also.

Rook was an interesting character - I liked him the most and there's something about him that's different, like James said - he is going to be something useful and I have a feeling, it won't be good at all.

I love Jean so much. he's so thoughtful and sweet

Fort Vermillion..is that a reference to the song by Slipknot or am I just reading too much into it? Haha.

I feel so bad for poor Mary, having to stay so strong around the others when inside, she's hurting :( I hope that Jean can get her to open up a bit and allow him in so he can try and make her feel better.

Not uneventful at all, I feel like this is the calm before the storm so to speak.

I'm excited for the next chapter!