Thin - Comments

Hello! I'm here taking over the judging of the 'The Unpopular Fandoms' contest!

Layout / Summary

I really like the layout. It's simple, but the dark background and bright header really work well together. I feel like the summary has this short, sharp shock to it and it definitely hooked me in by the end. Had I stumbled on this from the story page, I'd definitely have been reading on based on the layout and summary alone.

Content

I feel like the characters in this story are incredibly strong. They're all dynamic, different moving parts to the same machine (the plot) and it's so interesting to see characters used in the way you're using them here. I instantly get an individual connection to them all, particularly when Tomomi confronts the other two members of the band after Haruna walks off. I feel like you always see the true colours of people during a debate / argument and that is true here. The characters are written so well that you genuinely get the sense of concern from Tomomi, and you get that Rina seems to be the peacemaker, and that Mami seems to be the mother figure. It just adds to the storyline when you have all of these strong individual characters coming together to help another.

I also feel like you handled the subject of an eating disorder very well. I see so many stories on Mibba that glamourise the entire thing and use it as a prop to forward a romance or whatever, but this story doesn't have this. You can hear the very real regret in Haruna's voice when she's telling Tomomi that she thinks she's gone too far, and you don't allude to the relationship 'fixing' Haruna. You've done a very good job in showing the ED in more of a realistic setting than I think I've seen on here before.

Concrit

Nothing of note to mention here.

Overall

I think this was incredibly well-written, and I really enjoyed reading it. Well done!

Aww this was such an adorable story. I am new to reading and writing femslash so I don't know how many people portray their characters when they are in a female relationship but I think yo did an amazing job. I was really sucked in to the story and I wanted to read more when I was done with it. It leaves me on a cliffhanger of sorts because I want to find out how their relationship turns out and if the girl gets over he dieting problem. I think this was a really great read, you got me interested in the band as well! There were only a few spelling errors but nothing major. You did a great job.

This was so good! I don't even know what to say, I just loved the ending.

This is such a sad yet cute and happy story! I really loved it, Airi. This is why you made my promotional blog. <3 I love this story. I love everything about it actually! :D