~Holy mother of fuck this is amazing. The use of you and I is really interesting and you make it work really well. You are an amazing writer and I can't wait to find out what happens next! :)
I don't understand why you say you can't write. This is proof that you can. Don't give up on this, Jake. It's very well written, and I would love to see it continued.
How come I find the last line so cute? It feels so inappropriate at a time like this. But gosh, so beautifully written. I love how Danny's kind of like talking to Jamison in all of this. I hope we get to meet his personality for real soon!