Mr. Officer - Comments

Holy frickin moly that was so hot. Girl you sure know how to write smut I'm jealous!

I mean Matt as a police officer if that wasn't hot enough then we add the whole bdsm into it the mix oh my Jesus. Calling him "officer sanders" has to be the hottest thing ever.

I've said it before but Arianna you have great description you set up the scenes perfectly I wish I could write like that.

Great work girl can't wait to read more of you're stuff that's me set for the night :)

The first line, there's sat and then the next line has is, so there's a shift in tenses. kinda threw me off. just pointing that out.
Matt in a goddamn police officer outfit...just....ok.....wow....
i really enjoyed the lead into the sex scene. You didn't dive right in and kept the imagery up there. You painted such lovely pictures of what he was doing to her.
The details of the punishments were great....i loved every second of it.
I really am lost for words. this was so good and had me squirming in my seat...
great work!!!

@ Zacky Vengeance;
Thank you for the criticism, I'll go fix those errors now. Well there went my chances of winning lol. Anyways, I wasn't offended in any way and I'm going to go fix those errors right now.

OK so first off- Matt as a cop. Hot as hell. I love it whenever these guys are in uniform, it's freaking gorgeous.

Just reading through it, I did see a few grammatical errors here and then, slipping between tenses and what not, which is a common error that most people end up doing- myself included.

I really liked the build up to the sex, just how slowly he took things. However, and I've said this to some other people who have dabbled with BDSM for this contest- more than one name for the Dom get's confusing after a while, so maybe just one would have been a little better. Again, I'm not here to offend or to bash, I'm simply here to give constructive feedback.

The punishment is really good- a lot of the time it's just a few spanks and then it's over, but you've really gone into detail with this one. One thing that did slightly put me off was the amount of dialogue. It was good, and fit really well, but there was a lot of it. I don't know whether there would be that much during an actual thing, so I guess I'm not there to make a judgement, but yeah. That was what it felt like to me.

OK, I have one thing that I didn't like here. And it's just one thing and I'm not bashing you at all- but the anal penetration. Stretch that shit out. Just pushing a dildo in there would have torn something and shit she'd be in a lot of pain- her ass needs to be stretched out, just like in Slash. Just licking it ain't gonna do the job. I'm just saying it would be a lot more realistic that way.

But yes. Aside from a few slip ups, it was a really great one-shot, and of course, Matt dressed up as a cop is honestly the most wonderful thing! Thank you so much for entering my contest :)

This was really hot! I bet Victoria wet her poor little knickers and even the chair she sat in whilst reading this LMAO! Matt as a cop has been one of my fantasies for awhile so this was right up my ass...I mean alley. Lmao! Matt can dominate me any day and treat me like a big old slut! Mmmm. But yeah like always you did a great job hun and I'm so proud of you. <3 ya!

this was amazinnggggg. good work!

Holy moly daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn, girl i fucking love this thank you so much. good luck in the contest. i ike how it was so different in so many ways. its just great! and hot. matt as a cop, hubba huba!

Holy shit balls! That was so fucking hot I nearly came! LMAO! Damn girl you really know how to write a smut story well! I would LOVE to see more like this from you!!! :DDDD

Oh my goodness!
I loved it!!!
It was amazing!
:D

Wow! That was intense! Good luck with the contest xx

@ Mrs. Shadows
Thanks babe!

Woah! You managed to jam pack this with so many kinks haha!

It was hot, I love it when Matt is portrayed as the dominant male, so hot!

I like that they were already in a relationship, and Matt decided to spice it up a bit by wanting to try something new, the trust and respect was already there for them. And, the image I have of Matt dressed as a police officer, hello! Ovaries are flying out of the window along with my pants! Haha

Sometimes you switch between tenses, but that's easily fixed. No other errors to report! :D

My god, there were so many kinks in this I think they were probably up all night doing it haha. And now I have a great mental image XD

I loved it! Good luck in the contest :)

Another awesome example of you talent babe! Good job ♥

Damn, girl!!

@ Matthew Sanders;
I love your new username lol ;)

@ Mrs. Shadows
Pshh it did not suck! I loved it hun, and most welcome!

@ Liam Payne;
Thanks hun, I'm glad you liked it. I thought it sucked lol

I love this doll! So good!!!

@ Angelina Shadows
awww awesomeness ^_^

@ calousedheart
I think I'm going to dedicate this to you :)