I'm not really into 1D, I used to like Harry a lot - even wrote a one shot with him in it - but fanfiction isn't my thing. Regardless, I thought you wrote this pretty well. Your dialogue is decent, it flows and sounds natural. The only thing I can say is that you launched into it relatively quickly - we don't know who the narrator is or why she has a new neighbor. Did one of them move there? These are not questions I'm asking YOU, but questions you should ask yourself as you write. Detail, detail, detail!
April 5th, 2013 at 04:46am