Feelings - Comments

I’m here as the new host for the ‘Show Me What You’ve Got’ contest.

This was a really interesting and unique concept. I love the idea of personifying emotions like you have. I enjoyed the way you described them with their air and the surroundings because it was simple, but not dry either. The whole family thing was really well-done, which was definitely my favorite part. I enjoyed the idea of the feelings being this slightly dysfunctional but fitting family.

However, a lot of my enjoyment was taken by the fact that I was really confused at first. I think you mixed up pronouns at some point and you weren’t as clear as you could have been. You were using the feelings as their names (like Love, Joy, Hope, etc.) but it wasn’t very clear at times. I tried rereading it to make sense of it better, but the fact that I had to just immediately took something away for me. I also don’t know if you actually meant Selfishness or Selflessness.

Overall, I really enjoyed the idea of this because it was very unique.

Love this story.

It makes since that Jealousy would be upset, because Selfness danced with all of her sisters first and not her first. It makes you wonder, if he would felt the same if it was the other way around. Like say he had all the brothers and she didn't dance with him first. Would he feel upset, that she danced with all the others before him or would he be the bigger man and wait his turn. Then there the question, how would her sisters feel, if she was the first one that he had danced with. Would their emotions had changed? Or would they had been all the same?

It sort makes you think and wonder, if things would had changed at all or would it had stayed the same. Course, I might just be over thinking this, just a little bit.

Something else I am wondering, if there would had been a line to dance with one another emotions or if it would had been like any other dance, were you ask someone to dance and they dance. Would there had been a shoving match between two emotions, just cause they wanted to dance with the same emotion? Would it had been a large party for emotions or small?

Again, I'm most likely over thinking things, just a little bit.

I'm here judging the entries for the drabble section of my pre-write contest!

I love the idea of personifying feelings in the way that you have here. It brings across the feeling of jealousy and selfness (that confused me a little - what's selfness? I assumed it was selfishness but I'm but too sure) going hand-in-hand across really well. If I'm reading into selfness correctly, you can't really have one without the other and it's a really clever twist to have them both dancing together at the end.

Your description here is lovely, though. It isn't overly-flowery and it isn't too bare. It shows the idea of the family all being connected and the way that they all connect with the feeling that they personify just perfectly. All-in-all, this is really lovely!

I loved this story. Although it was a bit confusing at first as the story goes on you said that selfness and jealousy danced hand in hand at the center of life. You got the theme across in just the perfect way because it was so subtle but once you read it, it hit you hard.

To be honest, I was a little confused at first. I didn't really know what you were trying to say to the reader, but when I read on I realized that you were kind of sending a message of acceptance. That just relates to me, I don't know why. The way you worded everything made it just seem more real, but more fake at the same time. It was really good. It caused conflicting things inside me, and I can't say a lot of drabbles do that to me. I also know, even though I am not the only one saying this, that this whole setup you made reminded me of family. Not my own family, but a family where acceptance is key to happiness. You are a seriously talented writer because you have not only affected me with this awesome writing, but apparently a ton of other people to. I understand how you had love and joy meet first because it seemed right that those would be the two to truly accept somebody upon first meeting them. You were/ are very precise in your writing. You kept me interested in the story the whole time that I was reading it and this story really should be featured on Mibba. :D

This is crazy phenomenal, I've never had a drabble hit me this hard. I love your personifications, they absolutely make the story line. You're an extremely talented writer, definitely recommending this to all my friends :) Mibba magazine really needs to feature this!!

God Bless,

xoxo

Wow, this hit hard. Like, I've never thought of feelings to be a family and looking at this family, it looks like MY family in a way. Which, in its own right, hits very close to home and makes it rather emotional (no pun intended) for me.

Other than that, very different from anything I've ever read and I love this piece. You have amazing talent.

I wasn't expecting Feelings to be a family of sorts, so I was suprised to see that. I liked that you made each member of the family embody the emotion that they were named after.

I also like the way, at the end, everything still revolved around jealousy and selfness. It was very a interesting ending that I thought made the whole story go full circle and gave the story a very clear message it was giving to the readers.

I can honestly say I've never read anything like this, and it was incredibly unique. I really enjoyed reading it!

This was an interesting read. It's something I've never even remotely read before so I'd like to thank you for exposing me to such originality! I liked that each feeling was treated as actual people with real feelings and such. I'm a bit confused to who Selfness is, do you mean Selfishness or Selflessness? Otherwise, I thought it was beautiful and the imagery was really well done. I only noticed one spelling/grammar error: Love gave him his hand, him should be her. Otherwise I thought it was intriguing and I especially loved the ending. I think this could be written into a chaptered story, but that's just me. Good job!

I really like this I can't wait to read the others.

My only concrit is that I think with the feeling Selfness I think you mean Selfishness. I could be wrong sorry

Otherwise this is amazing!

I really enjoy the personifications of the different feelings. Personification is one of my favorite literary devices and you pulled it off so wonderfully that I found myself rereading this a few times just because of how great I thought it was. The quote was interpreted so well, it just blew my mind.

I like how the layout was simple and colorless almost. With all of the feelings having different colors, I think the white background was a good choice to keep it neutral.

I'm going to recommend this because I think it can inspire other writers to try taking a different approach to something rather than just the typical choice.

The layout of the story is very simple which is great because it doesn't distract me from the actual reading. It is so horrible when you can't read the actual story since something is distracting like the background , I also like the picture that you guys used for the sort of banner! It went very well with this story. I love this little one shot, it was entertaining and I can also see how you incorporated the quote into this! The quote by the way was well splendid! I don't know where it's from but I'd like too. I haven't heard of one like that before. There's something special about the story, I like how you make these emotions as if they were people, characters of this story, gave a real different twist that wasn't expectable! I definitely recommend this to readers who want something nice and short and sort of in a poetry type of writing. I wish Mibba had a Kudo's button like the site AO3 does because I'd definitely give you(both of you) one, but I guess just recommending it and commenting is good enough for now. I also agree with the commenters below my own comment.

Wow this was so different than anything I have ever read.

I loved it. The feelings were being with descriptions that I loved.

I also loved that quote. Your mother seems very intelligent and it was an amazing read.

This was a lovely story! I love how you personified the feelings! This could totally be a chaptered story.
Check the contest thread on April 29th to see if you’ve won.

This is really interesting. I haven't read anything like this before, it's very poetic and creative and the imagery is great. I've recommended because it's fab, and I'm looking forward to reading some of your other stuff.

~ Submitted for comment swap.
(Sorry for posting it again; the comment wouldn't register and I couldn't get another story to read)

This is really interesting. I haven't read anything like this before, it's very poetic and creative and the imagery is great. I've recommended because it's fab, and I'm looking forward to reading some of your other stuff.

~ Submitted for comment swap.

"Love gave him his hand" - should be her hand. Wow, this was really pretty and poetic. I love the imagery used and the writing was amazing. Recc'd.

I just read Death and decided to check this one as well. Great writing, amazing detail and the imagery is so well described I could see everything in my mind as it happened. Great writing, keep it up!

Wow. Amazing! I haven't read anything like this, it's so beautiful! Wow, mind officially blown.

This is an amazing piece of work, the way you describe the different feelings in physical form is amazing and it's like nothing I've seen on here