Heartbreaker - Comments

YES, this was once again another perfect thing to wake up to.

SERIOUSLY I GOT SO HYPED WHEN I SAW THIS WAS UPDATED YEAH.

Cedric is a dick and I hate him forever. He even has a dickhead kind of name and HE HIT MARINA. AW HELL NAH, THIS DOES NOT FLY WITH ME. NOT AT ALL. And he tried to be all smooth and kiss her hand. If he did that to me I would've slapped his face because who does he think he is. Hmmph.

But I feel the pain of not being able to think of a good band name, though. I remember my fruzzins and I were trying to think of a name for if we ever formed a dance crew and that went on for three hours. Oh lord.

Oh, Tristan. He's so into her it hurts and ugh Marina is perf. Of course she's more than just a regular girl, she hella badass and hella cute and KISS ON THE CHEEK. PURPLE LIPSTICK. Fangirl screaming. Ah, this was great.

And once again, you're not an asshole. You're fab and I love you, 'kay?

Here from free reads blog: I really enjoyed this, hope you UPDATE it soon!
You have a really beautiful way or writing - so simple yet with such description, I love the different characters and how strong all their personalities seem to as well as the way you have portrayed that.

So yeah, I just read all of these chapters and I believe that the cosmic forces of the universe brought me to it.

I love it so much. Your writing style is simple, yet has amazing description and I love how it's Tristan's point of view. The way he immediately is drawn to this Marina girl and how he can't stop thinking about her is cute and interesting. I love how you've perfectly established each character's personality, too.

Marina's personality is my favorite because she seems all badass and I usually don't see characters like that. Usually, it's the regular girl meets the bad boy and I like how you did something different.

Don't get me started on Ariel. Getting real tired of your shit, Ariel.

Anyway, I can't wait for you to post more. This already got me hooked and I want to see how things progress. You're doing awesome so far, girl!

I've read all these chapters this morning and I do d the story really cute.
It's like those cheesy romantic movie :)
I love seeing the spark of something beautiful starting between Tristian and Maria. Trist friends seem really fun but also seem like they don't care about his reaction when they ruined his life.

It is good though that they can forgive each other :)
Maria seems really interesting too, I like her!

Great story and chapter :3

So far, I've just read the first chapter, but I wanted to comment before I keep reading because I'm already in love with your writing. I'm so anxious to keep reading and find out where this story goes. Your descriptions are fantastic, I could picture everything perfectly and hear all the sounds. Nicely done! Keep up the good work!

The layout for this is gorgeous. I know it shouldn't make much of a difference, but clicking into this and seeing the layout like that really did make me want to read on.

Anyway, the story. I don't usually dislike characters, I'm all for giving people all the chances they can, but I just cannot like Ariel at all. She seems like a...well, I don't have any other word for her aside from that she seems like a total bitch. It takes a lot for me to dislike a character, so really well done on creating such a powerful character in that respect.

I like how down-to-earth everything is in this story. I can relate to almost everything and anything you've mentioned, especially the part about monotonous teachers. There's no overly-dramatic scenes or anything that is too out of the ordinary and it really adds a fantastic spark to the story as a whole.

Your description is wonderful as well. You've got the perfect balance between dialogue and description and the words and imagery you use to describe everything are really lovely. Some people overdo the description, but you seem to comment on the tiniest things and it still doesn't seem too much. Everything flows effortlessly and your chapters link up in wonderful manner. You've got a lovely writing style, really.

Also, can I just say that Tristan is my favourite because he drives a Honda Civic and Civics are my favourite cars ever. So yeah, major respect (and a little bit of jealousy) for him right now.

But anyway, in short, I think this is great. I'll subscribe to this and will definitely be recommending it because it's really shaping up to be an interesting story!

Rianne, have I told you how fucking tight you are lately? Everything you do is absolutely magical. I actually love this and why I've not read it before now actually escapes me. I can say this though: I do not fuckin like Ariel and she needs to go away as soon as possible and I mean that 100%. Garrett knows what's up. She's obviously got the hots for Tristan or she wouldn't be so pissy when other girls came up - GO AWAY PLEASE BECAUSE AIN'T NO BODY GOT TIME FOR YOUR LITTLE SHIT ASS ATTITUDE, ARIEL THANK YOU GOODBYE. Anyway, now that that little rant, I like the sound of Marina. She sounds absolutely lovely and I'm 200% Tristina. I LOVED THE ENDING TO THE SECOND CHAPTER TOO. Tristan seems like just this regular guy but Marina seems so badass and hardcore. I just hope she doesn't break Tristan's heart - though it's probably obvious she will, since the title is indeed Heartbreaker and junk. A GIRL CAN DREAM THOUGH, RIGHT? RIGHT. Anyway, I kind of sort of need you to update this as soon as you can because it's kind of awesome and I pretty much need to know what happens next. ❤

Ugh, sorry. Double.

So I love this layout, the background, the picture, the picture on the side of the content section, it all fits together really well. I love the banner a lot though, makes me think this girl in this story is a real badass. The layout pretty much made me want to read the story even more. Though I'd recommend getting a seamless wood panels background for your little border on the content section, that's just my personal preference though. I've got a few if you would look at them, I would be happy to send links c: But I mean it's absolutely nothing major.

But most of all, those daydreams could possibly provoke the cosmic forces of the universe to bring us together again. That's so wonderful, it just made me smile and I honestly feel like I could totally write a story based off of just that one line. I love it.

I really admire how realistic your characters are, they're all so lively and it makes me smile. This is a really good story I can't wait to read more!

Okay, so apparently I read this and forgot to comment? My bad.

But the layout is great. I haven't seen any like it, and it isn't distracting from the story. Although the font is a bit small and I found myself squinting a little. Blame my tired eyes for that, though.

I love the plot in itself. It's a plot we've all seen before, but you gave it a bit of a touch up with really cute characters, whom you've written so well in such a small amount of text. The writing is simple, but very descriptive. You don't find enough stories on here that paint a clear picture in the reader's head.

This is great. :)

I love this too and I love Ariel!!

Let me just say, I love you for writing this in the male point of view. You rarely see that on here and that's just amazing as it is. Your writing is equally amazing. It's well written and the story flows so nicely with it. The characters are very interesting and I can't wait to read more of this.

You have a powerful voice, and I wouldn't be shocked to see it follow through in the story. Instantly I could tell that this was a story that I would enjoy, which is saying a lot. I've been trying to steer clear of original fiction as of late. Either way, for a first chapter, you've certainly hooked me in. You took the things I usually avoid in stories (Male lead, original fiction and well male lead) and you've turned me into a believer, at least your your story. I am can promise you that I will be back for more!

I don't like Ariel, okay? She sounds like a biatch to me.
This had a really good start to it, and I like that with stories. I like how you described the scene with Luke's eyes and the way you describes Marina, I can picture her in my mind and that's great.
I just loved this so much, I really don't know what to say. You've done a great job with this. c:

Ariel needs to calm her tits! Haha.

I think this is cute, it definitely has a lot of potential. I do wanna point out this sentance though, "I wondered if he had another fight with his girlfriend, Jessie, again." When you say another, and then add the word again at the end it is repetitive. I dunno if you meant it to be like that or not.

I really like the way you describe Luke's eyes in the fire light, it was really beautiful.

Thanks for sending me your way! Definitely not disappointed.

oh cant wait to see what happens next please update soon