Hello, I'm the new judge for the Character Development writing contest :)
This is a truly well thought out piece, bouncing back and forth from what everyone saw of him verses how he was really feeling. From the beginning you pulled your reader in by making him sound "perfectly ordinary" and made them question why a boy like this would do such a thing. It was shocking and heart wrenching to realize it was his best friend that died and he wanted to be with her. The layout was good and subtle, easy to read through. The blue matched the story well. The plot moved through very easily with no connect-the-dots or strains on the reader to figure out what's going on. It was easy to follow at all times and very straight to the point. Tacking his letter next was nice, but it wasn't really mentioned in the first chapter about the conversation held between his parents about taking the jump. The metaphor for what he was feeling though was nice.
This is a truly well thought out piece, bouncing back and forth from what everyone saw of him verses how he was really feeling. From the beginning you pulled your reader in by making him sound "perfectly ordinary" and made them question why a boy like this would do such a thing. It was shocking and heart wrenching to realize it was his best friend that died and he wanted to be with her.
The layout was good and subtle, easy to read through. The blue matched the story well. The plot moved through very easily with no connect-the-dots or strains on the reader to figure out what's going on.
It was easy to follow at all times and very straight to the point. Tacking his letter next was nice, but it wasn't really mentioned in the first chapter about the conversation held between his parents about taking the jump. The metaphor for what he was feeling though was nice.