What Makes a Superhero? - Comments

This is definitely an interesting start to the story. It made me really curious about who Daniel is, exactly, and where he came from. I also feel like the fact that Clara fond him maybe has some significance, so I'm interested to see where the story goes.

I appreciated all of the details you included in the story to help flesh out the characters, however I would be a bit cautious about writing a ton about the sort of mundane parts of their lives, like Clara getting into her car or Daniel showering. Explaining the little things can be significant, but I also feel like it can make the chapter feel like it's dragging on a little as well. That being said, I'm interested to know the significance of Daniel remembering all of Clara's advice while he was in the shower. I have a feeling it had something to do with the crazy guy with the bat when he was a baby.

The last thing I wanted to mention was dialogue formatting. I noticed a couple times that your dialogue was formatted like this:
"Fantastic." Clara groaned when it should be "Fantastic," Clara groaned.

Overall, I think this story has a lot of potential and I wish you luck writing the rest of it!

I really like this so far. Good job.

Hello, I'm doing reviews for the blog I made yesterday. I will post the review here and write a summary of your story on a blog (soon, I promise. Let me just get off my back my last two classes of the semester and I shall be free-ish).

Anyways, I like to divide my reviews on different sections, so bare with me

Layout
I liked the simplicity of your layout. One banner, simple, matching colors, easy on the eyes. That's A+ for me. I absolutely love simplicity, so no complaints or suggestions there.

Grammar-wise
I like to get the grammar out of the way before starting on content and characterization. I didn't notice any mistakes on the narration or dialogues; however, I did notice that on several paragraphs you switched Daniel's name to Clark; I had to re-read it at first, quite confused about it that maybe there was another person there, but then noticed it was just an issue with name switching.

I think fixing this is of priority because it is a bit distracting to the reader and can become confusing.

Other than that, no complaints.

Content
Finally into the content!

Let me start by saying that I liked very much the beginning of the story, the way you set it up. At first I thought you were going to make Clara realize that same day that she had super powers when she got in the accident, so I was a bit unamused, but then you placed Daniel there and okay, now it's interesting.

I have to say that I was a bit disappointed that this did not follow the life of Clara in raising Daniel, a child with super powers, since I think it'd have been brilliant to demonstrate how when a kid is brought up in a good, nurturing environment, then the kid can become something great. Perhaps an idea for little snippets of flashbacks?

Anyways, continuing. I loved Clara; you fleshed her out as a responsible woman, strong, independent, and realistic.

I haven't learned much from Daniel in the parts he is written in, but I assume this will be discussed in future chapters. What I've learned, however, is that Clara raised him like a regular baby and he became a normal teenager (extracting the super powers part here).

I'm didn't quite like the stereotype you implemented for Julian; I'm no fan of stereotype; however, I did like that you included a gay couple with an adopted child. It adds diversity to the story, which is a plus.

I'm intrigued about the mysterious man who threatened Clara years ago, so you have me hooked there.

One final suggestion is to not rush through the narration. I felt the chapters to be a bit rushed and that takes away a lot from your characterization and plot-development.

I think this story has a lot of potential and I can see it becoming an amazing story as time progresses.

Beautiful work as always. PERFECT, nothing that needs to be changed. I just feel like you should make your own comic book line.

I enjoyed this thoroughly. Your layout made it easy to read, which is always a plus. I think, in the first chapter, you sped it up too much. I don't mean this in a bad way, I just feel as if you could have possibly separated it into two chapters instead of cramming a bunch of stuff in just one.

Anyways, I like Daniel's character. The line where Clara is choosing his name makes me laugh. Clara seems like a bit of a pushy mom but I'm sure if I were to adopt a baby in the middle of a snowstorm, I'd be a bit protective as well. I can't much about Sarah's character, but I think her father Julian is fabulous! Haha, I like this. You did a great job on it.

@ The Sun God
Sometimes the stereotypical gay guy is good.

@ XTeamSammiX
It was just playing the stereotyped gay man I was worried about.

@ The Sun God
No, I love him. He's not offensive, but I see a quirkiness in him that I love.

@ XTeamSammiX
Thank god. I didn't want Julian to come off as borderline offensive.

Wonderful. You had really great descriptions, and it was easy to follow. I think my favorite character is Julian so far. I can't wait to see where you take this. :)

I love superman ! And I absolutely love how you started this off, it makes me want to read more, as always your wording and descriptions are amazing and apart from a couple of typos I saw nothing major that put me off ... Definitely can't wait to see where you take this good job *Recommended and Subbed*