Desert - Comments

I think the concept is an interesting one. I like how she succumbs to the heat of the desert setting and that was a nice use of the location. I think I would've preferred a quick mention somewhere that this was supposed to be set in Cairo specifically according to the contest. I liked the mention that she always wanted to go to Egypt because of her fascination with the history though.

One thing that took me out of the narrative was that the wording was a bit repetitive in spots. For example, I kept thinking of the worrisome expression on his handsome face. He was really worried about me from the look of it. The first part indicates he's worried, hence the worrisome look. It felt unnecessary to then repeat he looked worried since that's exactly what you said in the sentence before.

You manage to capture a lot of emotion and action in a short amount of words, but it doesn't feel rushed. Summarising their actions really left more room to focus on their connection and what she was feeling. It wasn't at all what I was expecting with the ending, but it gave it closure. Nice work.

This was really done. Great descriptions it felt as if I was there. The imagery was insane. The whole concept was really good. Your writing style is really nice, I really enjoy it. Really great work.

You're choice of words are unique and different. I couldn't say it in simpler terms but I enjoy the style of your writing.

By so far, I've only read one grammatical error and I think it was just a typo but nonetheless, this is the error:

I didn't know how many hours it had been but I felt my feel couldn't carry me on anymore.

I was somewhat confused with that statement but it didn't ruin the whole idea and concept of the story which is a good thing.

''And our love bloomed in the desert while our hearts connected on the hotel’s bed.'' I just loved the summary. It was short and simple but nice no less. Your descriptions were detailed without being boring and I liked the imagery in this piece of literature. Write more like this cause they are awesome. :)