Mirrors - Comments

This hasn't been updated since forever, please tell me you guys will keep up with this cause it's grand. :)

Mibbaween Treat: This is a really good start to what seems like a promising story!

You have some really amazing phrases that just stood out to me and really caught my attention. I felt like you described the painful truth of eating disorders especially with hard hitting lines like 'to her, I was bones. To me, I was fat' or 'This had nothing to do with her. This had everything to do with control' extremely well and realistically. Those two particularly stood out to me, they were just super powerful.

I feel like Grace's back story is lacking a little emotion in the first chapter. I understand she is callous in some regards but I think that since it is her inner thoughts and feelings her feelings would be a lovely addition to what is already an interesting chapter.

I couldn't really differentiate between narrators, if it weren't for the chapter titles I would be a little lost. Both narrators are very similar and I found myself forgetting it was two distinct people. Developing unique voices would help this problem.

Overall this is a really beautiful story and I love the harsh reality behind the narrators voices. There is no romanticizing of eating disorders just the harsh truth which is more beautiful in my opinion.

I really enjoyed reading this. It is very powerful! Awesome job girlies! :)

This story has great potential. I like reading about eating disorders because it is topic that needs a brutal light shed upon it.

With that being said, I don't know what to say about the text. I do believe some filler and sub-plot would be a nice addition, similar to what was done with the boy in the fourth chapter (that one was really nice).

This brings me to my next debacle. Is this meant to be written in the past or present perspective? If it is the past, I understand why it is 'skeletal' in a sense. Yet, if this is meant to be written in first person perspective, it would be nice if there was more emotion behind what these girls are saying and not as much back story. The back story isn't bad-- it's actually quite good.

Another thing: If this is written from two different perspectives (Serenity and Grace), I'd suggest that you develop a unique voice for each of them. The interface is so skeletal, that sometimes I forget which perspective I am reading. It would only take a few words to characterize them both.

All in all, I like the way you both capture the illness without romanticizing it. Kudos to you both :)

This story has great potential. I like reading about eating disorders because it is topic that needs a brutal light shed upon it.

With that being said, I don't know what to say about the text. I do believe some filler and sub-plot would be a nice addition, similar to what was done with the boy in the fourth chapter (that one was really nice).

This brings me to my next debacle. Is this meant to be written in the past or present perspective? If it is the past, I understand why it is 'skeletal' in a sense. Yet, if this is meant to be written in first person perspective, it would be nice if there was more emotion behind what these girls are saying and not as much back story. The back story isn't bad-- it's actually quite good.

Another thing: If this is written from two different perspectives (Serenity and Grace), I'd suggest that you develop a unique voice for each of them. The interface is so skeletal, that sometimes I forget which perspective I am reading. It would only take a few words to characterize them both.

All in all, I like the way you both capture the illness without romanticizing it. Kudos to you both :)

This speaks to me; as I have had troubles with my weight and sometimes just wanted to give up. I enjoy her thoughts being put into this. They're so deep -- I can't even see them anymore. Please continue, I adored this.

This speaks to me; as I have had troubles with my weight and sometimes just wanted to give up. I enjoy her thoughts being put into this. They're so deep -- I can't even see them anymore. Please continue, I adored this.

This is a very interesting story. I only read the first three chapters, but so far, it's very powerful and relatable to the people of our generation. It's definitely not an uncommon theme to a story, but it's definitely something that needs to be addressed.

I like the way you're writing the first-person narrative. Like her brain threw up and this is what she has to say. I like when stories are written like that, I get chills every time have a chance to read them. One thing I would watch out for is awkward sentence structure. For example, "Guilt for what I am doing to my family. My poor mother. If only she knew. But I hope she never does." Starting the sentence off with "Guilt" is very awkward because there should be more words before it. And you could also combine the last three sentences to make one/two better sentences.

Another thing is the shadow in the text of your layout. It kind of hurts my eyes if I have to keep reading it, so I would recommend that you either take it off or don't make it so...shadow-y. But again, it's my recommendation

All in all, this is a very interesting story and you should definitely keep writing it. It's very good

Wow, I am left speechless here. This is a great story and really relates to what some kids are actually going through. Keep up the great work.

Again this is so relative to people in this day and age. Feeling the need to be able to control something in their own lives when they have an over controlling person ruling their lives is very relatable.
Your description is amazing as well, I'm able to picture everything and the emotionally turmoil is clear.

This story is really good. I really like it and hope to see more of it. Its very good, and very awesome!

Truthfully, this story upsets me, but in a good way? I don't think that makes sense, but I'll explain the best I can. Everything feels so real when I read it, especially the Grace chapters. I didn't really feel that way til the very third chapter, but after reading that, everything just hit me. You mix in a different type of emotion with this story that I can't quite put my finger on. As much as I'm not being helpful by not being descriptive, I truly don't know if their are words for what you've written.

This is beautiful and horrid at the same time. It shows the ugly side of the disorder. Unfortunately many teenage girls(and guys too) long for it because they want to be thin. This shows the pain and how twisted a person's view of themselves can be.

I really do love this story. I think you are doing good things with it too. I like that you are showing the ugly; the truth. I'm glad that it doesn't glorify or promote it in anyway. You're doing wonderful, keep it up!
(And I'm sorry for the kinda incredibly unclear comment.)

Gosh, I love the layout. c:
This is a very interesting story. It shows different reasons which lead to bullimia and anorexia. Serenity's reason comes from jealousy and the reason Grace is bullimic is how she weights. Keep it up you two. c:

This is amazing. It really speaks to me, and I feel like I can sort of relate to it, since I have a really close friend who suffered from anorexia. Watching her go through that was more painful than I can ever describe, and this story reminds me of her. It portrays exactly how nobody is perfect, and are faced with their own problems/issues. Keep up the great work! :)

I love your banner and layout, they both compliment this story well =] I also love the names you chose, Serenity is such a pretty name! This story has great potential and I can't wait to see where you go with it

I really do love the story and the layout! I like how it show to side. Their both going though similar thing, but yet are so different.

I absolutely love the contrast between the two characters. Even though the both of them are going through similar interests, you show that the girls are two separate beings. People are different, and I really enjoy that you didn't make them exactly the same.

While Grace is lonely and suffering because she wants control, Serenity is in control but blinded by jealousy. We don't really see the same regret, or the same struggle between the girls. This really shows that people do not react the same way or have the same reasons for turning to bulimia or anorexia. I really enjoyed reading this. I will definitely be returning to read all of it.

This is amazing so far. The only thing I would sugest is to put another summary because this one doesn't do any justice to the story. Grace's character is really obsessed with her weight and Serenity's character is against her sister in a way, seeing all that jealousy. Overall, I like this. I have subscribed and recommended this. I'm waiting for more here.

Oh man I'm a sucker for eating disorder stories! This is really good so far, and there was one sentence in particular that really stood out, which was "I chose anorexia over every other aspect in my life." It's a really powerful part of that chapter. One thing I would say that could be fixed, though, is in the second chapter when it says "Have you ever felt jealous because even though you were slim, you wanted to be slimier?" I think you probably meant to put slimmer, not slimier. But other than that it's really good!

Really enjoyed reading that. Sounds like it's going to be a really good story. Update soon :)