Dropped - Comments

I am glad I decided to read this story out of all the others you displayed for me. I read the story twice to make sure I didn't miss anything, but no matter how many times I read this, the brilliance of this got better and better and there was too much going on where you're going to miss something no matter where you looked.

I will try not to sound repetitive to the others, but I couldn't agree more with the commenters below. I liked how you painted the world ending by everything dropping into oblivion, lost within the deep dark spaces of the universe and even though that's weird, we don't know exactly where these things are dropping to. The world may be ending for these characters, but may also be starting for others someplace else.

I liked the symmetric aspects of life/death here and also panic and fear. These people were afraid of dropping, they were trying to control or run away from something that couldn't hide and could suddenly just happen at any moment. And I think that was the terrifying part the most, and it's something that's depicted in movies a lot that deal with the world ending and whatnot, but no matter how prepared you are, the world will eventually find you and suck you bone dry.

The narrator of this story was pretty interesting I thought and maybe a little unreliable at times. But the way the narrator spoke of the events made it seem like it was the universe itself talking to us - mocking humanity and how silly people acted in a desperate time. It took fifty years, but eventually it all went away. seriously, who would know something like that and how? And the part where the narrator said can't remember the family, but starts naming them. I was just a little confused about that.

"Then it all went away. Save for one house, that is." - The bold part, I noticed you said it twice in the story and it doesn't make sense nor does it sound right. I kept wanting to say except instead, I didn't understand that type of word placement here.

I think the best parts of this were the deadly transformations of the family members, I was hooked and mesmerized at what was happening to them, it was unexplainable to the moral mind and their unfortunate end was beautifully well written and it felt like a mind trick to me - and as I was reading the scenes about the husband who had finally cracked; there was a sense of despair and a loss of hope - the mother's breakdown was the worst I thought and her psychosis seemed more realistic to me than the others because she witness all her children's death or dropping, I should say and that would seem traumatic, especially when it's not understood properly.

The ending was genius and I liked that "knock" gave you inspiration to write this intertwined with the writing prompt of course, but this was chilling and the added and well needed elements of sci-fi worked all too well.

well...that was creepy. I'd love to see what happens next... or see it as a short movie. it would make a creepy movie

I absolutely adored this.

Wow, this was actually pretty gripping. I don't know what to say, I loved the way the world actually fell apart, and then how the insanity settled into each member of the family. Then there was the suspense, the knock at the door. Though... was it a real knock or was that just his insanity? Wonderful! Loved it.

Oh my god. This was great. First, you could not have had a better layout for this story. It fit perfectly, really.

It started off as simply the world ending. wow, that's an odd sentence to write. But I figured it'd just tell me how the world ending - and with everything just dropping to basically nowhere is super interesting. I like that much better than the usual meteors or world blowing up type things - but when it got to the last family alive, it turned super creepy. It's crazy how Jamie turned into the story that she wrote. Porsha turning into a dog, basically, trying to get Carolina was crazy as well.

But the thing with Marissa was the worst. Like, I wouldn't be surprised if I got a creepy dream tonight because of it. I think the creepiest part was the phone thing. How she was talking to nobody constantly I just... wow. And the knock on the door, when it's supposed to only be Tom left alive? Oh god.

Sorry for the super long comment, but don't ever stop writing. It'd be seriously criminal with your skills.

Oh my gosh, this story was making me rock back and forth!

The beginning was crazy, and it took me a moment to realize that the houses were just falling into oblivion. The layout was a huge clue to me. I'm just a slow person What can I say?

It's incredibly well written. I kind of leaves this haunting shadow over your head. The baby really did it for me. I was like NO YOU FREAKING PERSON IF THAT'S REALLY WHAT YOU ARE NOOOOOO.

Basically, this is the best story ever. They should be analyzing it in AP Literature classes.

This is crazy good. Like, wow. By the end, I was actually really freaked out. I really love that even though it was based off of two separate things, you still manage to make it so original and brilliant. You're super talented.

THIS IS THE BEST STORY I'VE READ ON MIBBA! You are marvelous, thank you so much for commenting on my blog so that I could see this. I wish I had seen it before!

This is so unique! I've never heard or seen of anything like this, that's just me, but still! Dropped is like one of the stories people wish they had come up with. I want to see this written into a full blown book. Then a movie. I loved it so much, I can't even explain!

This is really good. Really good. Really good. REALLY GOOD!

Sorry for the late comment!!

I'm at loss for words here. I don't even know what to say or even where to begin.

Layout:

I loved the layout. I didn't exactly know what the image was for at first but then after reading the story, I understood it much better.

Practically the layout was pretty clean and decent. It had infused a sci-fi feeling or surrounding for the reader to picture out.

Writing Style:

I am giving you 10/10 for your writing style. The way you've written your story makes the reader intrigued and excited for what will happen next. Your style of writing is definitely strong and unique, and I believe that many people would agree with me after reading this story.

Although I did see some sentences that can be put together without it being separated by a period, I think that it would be best to leave it like that because it makes the story more scary and interesting.

Characters:

Gosh, I don't know what to say about this. I've been given a good and positive image about them in the beginning but then as I continue reading, I don't know what had happened to the good people I thought and knew about. The transition between their attitudes were very sudden but brilliant at the same time.

Each character was clearly described almost perfectly, leaving out some common details that didn't actually require mentioning to give a mystery feeling to the story.

Overall:

All I can say is wow. I was reading it like around 7 when the sky's probably dark. I kept on looking behind to see if there was anything weird. I know, it sounds like I'm lying but I'm not. IT'S THAT SCARY FOR ME.

Even though I didn't actually understand what was happening at the end, I wouldn't change it any other way.

THIS. IS. GREAT. It's creepy, but I keep coming back even though I'm scared. Good job!

Oh. My. God. I have been meaning to read this for a while, and I'm so glad I finally did. It's amazing. So hauntingly creepily beautiful. I wish I could write like that I'm going to be in awe for a while, I think. Seriously, well done. Do not stop writing.

OH MY GOD! This was...amazing yet creepy as hell! I loved reading this honestly...It was so different from anything I've ever read and it took me to another place entirely. I love how this story was out of the box of reality. You captured the abnormal very well I must say. I felt sorry for poor Tom. It has me wondering who was knocking at the door though!

So this terrified me. I seriously had to wait to write this comment because it scared the living crap out of me and it was trippy. And then the end. Jesus Christ, I was like come on.

I have to say I like your writing style a lot. It's simple but the simplicity really makes the story. I think details would crowd the story and distract from how great the plot is. It was so creative but scary. Your character development even in a short story was fantastic.

Keep it as a short story. It's better off that way. Leave people wondering. ;)

Holy bad word.

Okay, listen, it is 11 o'clock at night, and I am running on fumes here, but I'll make this quick: intriguing summary, incredibly original plot line, fantastic writing, great characterization, convincing description of the girls going crazy, and then end....

Ugh. That end. I have lost the ability to can.

I just want to say, though, that I am going to have to disagree with some of the previous comments. This is absolutely incredible as a short story. The shortness and the simplicity of it all is fantastic, I would leave it. Not that this doesn't leave me wanting more (because it certainly does) but I don't think it should have been any longer. I just...it was perfect. Love.

Okay, this was the coolest thing I have ever read. I love that you actually explained what was going on and how things came to be the way they were (even though it had no explanation) because I read so many stories where they just drop you into a situation without any background information and that just gets confusing. I also really like how they lost their minds one at a time because it just seems so realistic. Even if there is nothing freaky deaky happening, you can just imagine that someone who is trapped in the same place with the same people every day will eventually go insane. This was just amazing and I'm glad that I found it in the magazine!

What the balls? I agree with the commenter below me this definitely needs to be a full story. I would love it if you could make this full length and then you'd be able to further explain what the hell is happening. This would be a bad ass movie as well. I'm just so confused as to what happened to them all--like obviously they're going crazy from the isolation but just what the actual hell?

My confidence about my writing just Dropped.
This needs to be a full story.
Or a book. A book is good too.
I'm actually surprised to have come across a topic I myself enjoy writing this late at night, purely through Mibba luck.
Because this is one of the best stories I've ever read. o.o

>_> It's was good, Cathy.
-Devonte

Oh my God. That was creepy. I love how this is written.
You described it all so perfectly! I'm just kind of in love with this.
I just don't know what else to say other than the fact that this is pretty much perfection.

This looks amazing recced, subscribed, the works.