Amnesia - Comments

Hello! I'm here taking over the judging of the 'The Unpopular Fandoms' contest!

Layout / Summary

I feel like your content box in the summary page could be made smaller, in order to show the full picture at the side. I like that your summary has a lot of information in it because, as somebody who doesn't follow the fandom, it gives me an idea of what's happening as an outsider.

Content

This is a pretty cute story. I like that it starts off with a largely negative action, with Marzia leaving Pewdie, but then morphs into this trip that ends in something far more meaningful and probably something more meant-to-be happening. It's nice to see Pewdie having such a positive network of friends to support him. I also like how the relationship develops -- you've got Cry blowing off something as big as a convention to make sure that Pewdie is supported and looked-after in what you can only assume is a devastating time for him. It's really nice to see that end with them deciding to give it a try as well. Nice touch.

Concrit

The only concern I have over this story is that in some areas, it appears rushed and lacks detail. It does make it a little more difficult for people who are not familiar with the fandom to get into the story as we struggle to connect to the characters and their issues.

Another, more grammar-related thing is that you switch tense a lot. You're in present tense for quite a while and then it suddenly drops into past tense for a sentence and then back to present. I'd suggest a read-through to resolve that.

Overall

This was cute and fluffy, and a very easy read. As I said above, it does seem rushed in areas but this has the potential to be a really good little story. Good job!

Oh that was adorable, I love Pewdiecry, you did a great job :3

I know nothing of the fandom so forgive me. I believe that a little more detail on things like the italian landspace would make it better, and maybe elaborating more on the emotions Felix has about his girl leaving him. Even with those things, I like it. It's super cute and an easy read. Good job! :3