What Do You Hear? - Comments

I thought that "How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb" was the most garbage album ever released by U2. I promise not to let that weigh in on my comments on this story, but I figured I'd share.

I love this, conceptually. The idea of struggling to decode that inaudible or slurred lyric reflects a deeper fight to understand those little but somehow important things that elude one's senses or intellect. I would say, to offer a bit of criticism, be careful of overwriting. There's something to be said for a more raw sound, if you can avoid appearing inchoate (editing will take care of that), and phrases like "a perfect cycle of never ending heaven" could be rephrased into shorter description. I say this not to discourage poetic writing, but to make your poetic moments that much more poignant and powerful. Let's rephrase my example now "I wait with the repeated tapping of the drums until I hear the other instruments rise from silence, perhaps even reticence—harmonious and protean." Hell, you could delete protean and still be poetic, even "harmonious and protean" could go. Reticence applied to the previous silence of the instruments is poetic enough. That kind of meticulous attention to poetic detail does not go unrewarded.

This piece does beg the question, though: why didn't you just look it up on the internet?" I think it answers well enough it by saying that the struggle makes it worthwhile.

woah..
I loved it..
MORE SOON!!! <3

haha
=]

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I wonder if you will ever notice me </3

Awww *claps* that was so awesome :D

And to think I only wrote that in like five-ten minutes but I'm kind of upset that it's so short. I was on MSN with Serena the whole time. :tehe: I can never focus on just one thing and I have poor planning skills.

This piece is loved. Yes, the description... :cheese: And:

I'm on a mission.

I loved that phrase. Just so. x]

:tehe: I love it! The descriptions are just....WOW. :cheese:

My Story dedicated to Serena Vox.