The Comfort Girl - Comments

I absolutely adore reading stories that differ from the usual romance plots. I also love reading stories that deal with issues that were / could be considered controversial. Your story has both of these and even just from the summary, I'm super-excited to continue reading! A story with a plot like this is a really risky thing to write on here, so I just have to start off by commending you for choosing something completely out of the ordinary and having the guts to write about it.

Your description is so raw and harsh, and I love that. In a story dealing with a topic such as this, a lot of people would sugar-coat it and not go into as much detail as you do, but right from the beginning you use really powerful language and description to your advantage and I think it adds so much realism to the story. It's actually really difficult to read in places as well, which I don't usually find with most stories so that's impressive.

I also really like Adelaide as a character. Aside from Adelaide being one of my favourite names ever, I really like her constant stream of consciousness. You can visibly see the contempt she has at times for the people that bought her and the people that constantly put her through what is no doubt painful work and absolute hell. She seems to be pretty level-headed for a seventeen-year-old, but I'd assume that would come from being in slavery all her life. I'm really interested to see how she develops and gets over various issues in her life.

Mr King absolutely disgusts me, honestly. He seems like one of those people who is drunk on power and has to have everything he wants. His actions towards Adelaide are honestly monstrous and he really makes my blood boil. However, I liked how soft and gentle Matilda was when Adelaide returned to the house. I'm assuming that she's been through the same, so it's lovely to see that Adelaide has a like mind who is willing to look after her in the Kingdom. It gives me this small sense of hope that everything can and will get better for her in the future.

Honestly, I think this is amazing. It's different, it's raw and it's written really well. I'm not too sure where you're going with the plot, or what will happen to Adelaide in the future, but I'm really interested to find out. I'll be subscribing and eagerly awaiting the next chapter!

Title, Layout, Summary

So, at first I thought the story would be about a girl who comforts all her friends. After reading the summary I realized I was dead wrong. I like how the title refers to her position and how the title of her position sounds all innocent and fun but it’s not. Because after reading the summary we all know what the comfort girl is. I feel like the title is appropriate and it draws me in.

The layout is pretty and simple: two things I love because it adds to the story without adding to much and being way to distracting. I like how it’s also sort of deceiving with the layout being all pretty and uplifting and then the story having to do with slaves and rape and abuse. (Also, I have a thing for old manor houses and the picture helps.)

The summary is perfect, it gives just enough without telling you the whole plot. It also doesn’t leave me sitting there scratching my head wondering what the story’s actually about.

Chapters/Characters

With just the first chapter you give us enough information about Adelaide without boring us to tears with her backstory or leaving us sitting in the dark because we know nothing about her. You also do a very good job at making me hate the slavers and the Kings with just a few sentences.

Your style is good; there isn’t that total ignorance some people tend to write with when they write about slaves. Your speed is great, you don’t rush the story nor do you drag it along like a dead dog. It’s in the perfect median. Your grammar is great, nothing jumped out at me at all as being wrong. It’s evident you worked hard writing this. It's realistic, is great paced and you do a great job pulling people in.

You’ve got a good story with promise to be great once it gets fully rolling.

Oh wow this story is compelling. Poor Matilda =[ but like the commenter below said, it's very realistic. You're doing a fantastic job with this. *subscribed

You have guts, I will admit that. Now this, I really enjoyed this. You made it realistic. I wonder where this is actually going too. I like how you didn't sugar coat anything and you write it exactly how it would have been.

I personally hate the N word, so it was a little hard to see it being used. But I think you did a fine job with it and just didn't throw it around. I also like how you referred to each person why the color of their skin. Only because then, that's what happened. And I felt that made the story even better.

I'm still just curious what this story is all about. Like what is doing to strive for? What's going to happen to her in the long run. It's just very interesting. Again great job. It's obvious you did research and I'm happy for that.

@ viralstorm
Haha! Yeah, it is pretty gutsy of me to write about this topic but I can only try, right? I'm glad you enjoyed it and thought the emotions described were realistic. That's one of my biggest fears when it comes to this story; that people won't believe it.
Thanks for the comment!

I really didn't know what to expect when I read the titles, and then saw the layout. I had a feeling that it would be set in the south, just from what I saw, but I had no idea your story would be so deep.

You are definitely brave to write about a topic like this. I definitely wouldn't have to balls to try and capture a slave's emotions. This is really good, you were really able to capture emotions realistically. I didn't feel like any of this was forced or over exaggerated. There were moments where I was so captivated by what Adelaide was feeling that I got sick to my stomach. This Mr.King really needs a taste of his own medicine!

This is really good, a different story line from what i've read so far, i'm captivated so please update soon haha.

@ ebony_goddess
Thank you! I'm glad you like it so far :) you should do it if you want to! :D

This is really good. You have gotten better at writing summary bits :) It caught my attention. This is a really good start to the story as well. Wanted to write my own slave story. I'm still thinking about it :)