@aligned I'm sorry, I havent been on the computer a lot lately. I almost forgot about all my original stories because I started to write fanfictions a butt load. But I shall come back. Give me a day and Ill upload another chapter for this story. :) Promise.
Your story is quite appealing, and it really does pull the readers in. I'm sure you knew that already, as the past few comments have said as much!
I just needed to tell you that I have only read the first chapter so far, and did notice some stuff that didn't quite add up. They aren't major errors, but minor ones that people do tend to notice. For instance, you kept referring to 'the blonde girl', but you referred to her as 'Rosa' once, even before she was introduced. Could you please fix that?
I was looking at the characters, and noticed that Gwen's sister, Rory, is older than her. I remembered that Gwen referred to 'enrolling her younger sisters' into the school. . . The facts don't really match up here either. . .
“Excuse me?’ A voice suddenly said. Gwen jumpedJumping Gwen , and then turned around. quickly. It would also be beneficial if you could reword the above sentence, as it is quite confusing!
Also, you seem to mix up the words 'to' and 'too' a lot! Um . . . hope you do edit soon enough as some readers to tune off if they see too many errors. Your story is truly unique, and I really am in love with it. Thus, I wouldn't want that to happen!
Other than that, I just wanted to tell you that I subscribed to your story about 2 weeks ago, and didn't get the time to read it. Now that I've read it, I think I like where this is going. I know that isn't saying much, since I've only read one chapter so far. To have that influence on a reader is something any writer wishes to have!
O.o umm, Wow? Yea, that about sums it up. Since this story is so damn good, I want to make a suggestion, and that is: You should update this at least twice a day.....I would read this all the time. I can't wait to read more!!! Update soon!!
ahhh holy mother of ballz!! epic fucking update! and holy hell though!! I cant believe dan was going to punch her in front of everyone, even if thats how their relationship works!!! I love how he wrote tht off as sa "healthy relationship" in his eyes tht they beat each other up haha! bullshit! and fuck man! Fucking Neji stepped in to stop him!?!? Her sister has got to be PISSED! or at least a little suspicious! I would be! SO much tension!
about damn time! i was going fucking nuts! no one and i mean NO ONE has updated a story I'm subscribed to in like over a week! I swear! and I've been craving an update from this story in particular the past few days!! It's been forever!!!!! Hurry up and update as soon as you can! I go insane with out reading material and I love this story lol
about damn time! i was going fucking nuts! no one and i mean NO ONE has updated a story I'm subscribed to in like over a week! I swear! and I've been craving an update from this story in particular the past few days!! It's been forever!!!!! Hurry up and update as soon as you can! I go insane with out reading material and I love this story lol
I doth agree with Killing Romance. Seriously. This is the first time in a while I have actually been so engrossed in a story I write a comment lol :) keep up the good work d^-^b (<---- double thumbs up \^-^/