Life Ever Fasting - Comments

It's so... malicious.
Gerard is attacking ana and mia for what they did to Bert.
I love the perspective, the descriptions, the way everything just fell apart at the end.
Beautiful... in a tragic way.

His stories of how mia made him bleed and ana made him ache. His stories all told with a smile on his face and a degree of love in his voice - I think elaboration on HOW they did those things to him would have made it a little clearer, for those who don't, er, understand.

If it were told from Bert's point of view, I think he'd be apologising. He didn't mean to push Gerard away. He just wanted to be the perfection that his boyfriend so often saw in him. He didn't love ana and mia, they just made life a little easier for a while.

They devoured you.
Whilst you devoured nothing. - smart. Witty. Your wit is really evident in the story. Quick one liners. Short. Sharp.Malicious.

I loved it, obv.

Thankyou for posting it.

<3

My God...

That was amazing. So dark and sad but hauntingly beautiful, too.

I loved it.

I think it would have worked better if the couple was anonymous, but dear God... your imagery is fantastic.

You soared with this, all bones and flimsy wings.

ana and mia are not capitalised intentionally. They are not people, they are not human, they feel no emotion and they are not worth it.

The whole fic can be summarized by that, but truly... it was another spin on eating disorders like Dru's To The Bones.

You use such delicate, corrupt words to detail the damage, withering away and the wind cascading over the destruction.

You wanted them and they devoured you.
Whilst you devoured nothing.

One of your best pieces yet, I think, Emma. Very articulate and intelligent use of words, without sacrificing gut real emotion.


You pwn.

BTW I love the title too!

I sure as hell can't comment like Sheep. :tehe:
But I just want you to know that I think this is something...It's beautiful, in a way, if you can understand that. You portrayed everything so....just so perfectly.
I'm a sucker for a Gerard/Bert story; so of course I clicked on it. But I have such a hard time reading ana/mia stories. So naturally, I'm the weak pansy who cried, but, still...
You're a wonderful writer.

We were the perfect couple.

Interesting starting line, given the ideas surrounding this. Perfection, and the struggle some go through to try and attain that in the way they look. And yet frmo where Gerard's standing, perfection was already theirs. Nothin needed to be changed, nothing needed to be altered. So how much must he have been hurt when he saw Bert didn't feel the same? How would one half of any whole feel if the other felt they had to change themselves?

We were perfect, until things changed. Until she came between us. Ana. She was so hideously beautiful. I saw hideous and he saw beautiful.

Word-perfect. Seriously, for something with such a dark subject, it's very poetic. I saw hideous and he saw beautiful. Maybe they're not just two halves to one whole, but a yin to the other's yang?

How perfectly desirable her frail skeletal frame was. All I saw was the sick gleam in her eyes as she roped my boyfriend in, tugging him further and further away from me.

Ana's really starting to show the difference between the two of them, isn't she? Bert sees her as the incarnation of perfection, something he had to strive to reach, to gain, while Gerard sees her as the monster who's destroying his loved one. You can only wonder whether Gerard and Ana's ideas of perfection are similar at all, or whether Bert's efforts to reach this new perfection will make Gerard despise him for it.

I tried to ignore it for a while, I was the model boyfriend supportive, caring, loving and reassuring, and I tried to fight her. Yet, all I got in return was a boyfriend that grew more distant as he grew more and more attached to ana and his new friend Mia.

You have to feel for Gerard. All he's trying to do is support him, try and keep him from destroying himself through his new 'friends,' and all Bert does is get sucked in deeper; more lost, more lonely, further from the one who's trying to take away his new friends, and totally blind to the help he's trying to give.

It was two against one now. Ana and mia against me. As they became more inviting, more pleasing and more beautiful to my gorgeous Bert, I became more repulsive, more disgusting and more sickening to him.

What intrigued me about this is I remember before you put that the things Bert wanted were the things Gerard couldn't achieve. Which basically leaves Gerard with the ultimatum situation. Him, who liked Bert as he was, and still supports him as he is, despite getting rebuked constantly...or them, who are leading him blindly into a deeper path of an impossible addiction. And suddenly their perfect relationship is torn into shreds.

I could see my beautiful Bert was happy. Happy with her. If ana could make him happy, I should have been happy right? Happy for him, that is the mature thing to do, yes? No. I was not happy. I loved him, I watched him fade away whilst she grinned and helped him. I listened to his stories of how they hurt him, how they killed him inside. His stories of how mia made him bleed and ana made him ache. His stories all told with a smile on his face and a degree of love in his voice that would make me cry when he could not see me- usually when he was with them.

This must be destroying Gerard as much as it is Bert, even if the latter doesn't really know it. Bert's destroying himself physically, but with a sincere smile on his face from the knowledge of that which he is seeking, and how he's getting closer to it. And Gerard, while in no real physical pain, has to watch his friend starve himself to insignificance. Physical pain, emotional pain. Maybe they still are two halves of one whole. Even if that whole now inadvertently includes the two architects of Bert's destruction.

I cried for you. I cried for us and I cried for what we had. As I turned around to leave, I saw ana and mia there, grinning as always. Their angular, disgustingly thin faces grinning. They had never truly cared for you. They never cried for you. They never thought you were beautiful like I did.

It's the contrast between gerard and Bert that you portray so well. bert, even to his death, saw them as saviours, as helpers, his only true friends after Gerard stopped understanding. And Gerard still sees them for that which only someone on the ouside of their gaze, looking in can see; monsters. Uncaring, hollow monsters.

And now I have nothing.
Because of them.
Because of what they did to us.
We have nothing and you have become nothing.

But you were my everything.
My dearest, beautiful, Bert.

A truly bittersweet ending, but so wonderfully worded. Fantastic story.

I'd just like to say as well, this part in the summary; ana and mia are not capitalised intentionally. They are not people, they are not human, they feel no emotion and they are not worth it.

I commend you for putting that in as well. I think if the story was't enough, that's a message that people do need to hear.

This was amazing. You should write more :cute:

Emma.
emma...

it's terrible to know what this is about.

I love you.

--

Now about the story

it kept me captivated from the first line.

Emma, you can really write, you know? I can't write comments to save my life, and i normally don't.

But... this was beautiful, about such a horrible thing

i love you

My first story in many months.
Written in a fit of rage and compiled mostly of long deleted text messages.
Your thoughts would be appreciated.

xx