Fuck Me - Comments

I’m here as the new host for ‘Just Another Contest’.

This was really interesting because you definitely captured a very intense love-hate relationship. I pitied Jacob for continuously putting himself into such an abusive situation because he was in love. I wanted him to stop, and I thought that he finally was until I realized what he was actually doing. It was so awful. I actually hate Michael a lot, honestly. I never felt bad for him because of how he treated Jacob. I’m aware that he was clearly dealing with some internalized homophobia, but his coping mechanisms with it were so damn awful and abusive.

However, there were a lot of errors that made this very difficult to read, honestly. And on top of that, you had far too many run-on sentences that kept distracting me. More often than not, you needed a period rather than a comma to prevent from having like three different sentences mashed into one. It created a very awkward and clumsy transition in the entire piece, especially when you shifted point of views. I don’t think it helped that you also had these walls of text in the form of huge paragraphs where you definitely could have afforded to break them up to maintain an easier flow for the readers. I feel like this story could definitely use some proofreading and editing.

Also, in the second that you titled third person, it was actually first person since you used ‘I’.

Overall, I thought this was definitely an interesting and sad piece so good job.

I'm not too sure about the jumping tense at the end, it just seems a bit..strange to have it in first person and then jump to third person. I don't know, maybe it's just me.

Anyhow, I did quite enjoy this. It's tragic and heartbreaking. Like someone said below, it's always really saddening to read about relationships like these, because more often than not, you see remorse from the person who caused all of the hurt and you've portrayed that beautifully. There is so much raw emotion in this that it almost hurts to read it, so major kudos on that. You do have a few grammar and spelling errors throughout though, so I'd suggest reading back through to catch those. Overall though, you've got a solid little piece of writing here!

I'll be announcing the winners shortly, so good luck!

I found myself a little bit confused while reading this, you seem to jump around from points of view, but overall it wasn't too bad to follow. There are some sentences that just don't make sense, end of, and some where you've used a wrong word, yet the reader can still understand what you're trying to say, maybe with some difficulty, but all the same it's readable. I do like the plot, and you've portrayed some real emotion, which I like. Thank you for entering my contest dear.

I did find a few mistakes. I love it even though I hate Yelawolf.

This is a bit confusing to read as it changes the point of view. And I noticed a few errors, none too big, just some missing punctuations and typos.

It's always a tragedy to read about someone who fell in love with someone they shouldn't and then it kills them. This 'fuck-buddy' or 'friends with benefits' thing always baffles me because there's no way people can escape the emotional outcome if they'd been having such intimate contact for a while, continuously.

Thank you for entering the contest. I will let you know when the results are up. ^_^