Just One Bad Day - Comments

  • Beast In Repose

    Beast In Repose (150)

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    Yes it's still on hiatus. If you're willing for the job, send me a message and we can discuss bringing this back to life?
    September 18th, 2013 at 11:37am
  • paracosm.

    paracosm. (110)

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    Awh, don't let this be on hiatus! I'll be your beta, if you want. I swear I'm good when it comes to grammar and spelling. XD
    September 13th, 2013 at 11:10pm
  • Beast In Repose

    Beast In Repose (150)

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    Seeking a beta! I'm looking for someone to proof read and edit, as well as helping with the structure/direction of the story, i.e. pointing out plotholes, flaws, out of character writing, ETC. If you are interested, PM for more details Very Happy:
    July 4th, 2013 at 04:11am
  • Beast In Repose

    Beast In Repose (150)

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    @ paracosm.

    Thank you for the comment, it is greatly appreciated! May I ask if the Prologue is too long, or would it be better if I fleshed it out more? The Prologue was intended to be much shorter, but when I sat down and started writing I felt there was much more that had to go in then was planned, and in turn it started to get longer then intended. Would it be worth rewriting it and making it flow smoother at the risk of it becoming longer yet, or would you suggest something else?

    Jack is very dear to my heart and I'm really trying to do him justice here, but in saying that I'm coming back from a very long stint of creative dryness and I don't quite feel back to my old level of skill just at the moment, so thanks for the good words!
    July 4th, 2013 at 03:10am
  • paracosm.

    paracosm. (110)

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    That banner is just. Shocked Ah-mazing. I love this story so far. Although I think the action in the first chapter was a little abrupt - I was kinda confused when it cropped up because the change in pace was so rapid. However, that's all the crit I have.

    Most of the time I don't like Jack Napier stories (Out of the many I have read, I only like about three - including yours) because I feel as if the backstory is a bit unoriginal. But I like yours. ^^ Especially the second chapters - it's really lovely. I love how you made Violet suggest Gotham City - overall I just love the whole idea of Violet plotting to run-away with Jack.

    Also, the fact that Gotham City was 'beautiful' back then made me giggle a bit because Jack is basically what destroys it. Well, him and the mob.

    "I broke into a hysterical cackle."

    This really reminded me of the Joker. :) I like how he has some attributes of the Joker, even before he's gone crazy.

    "The name Gotham City seemed vaguely familiar, and the words seemed to make the hair on the back of my neck stick up."

    I adore this line so much. Just, the foreshadowing is brilliant. It actually made the hairs on the back of my neck stick up too. xD Like, Jack already feels like Gotham City is of some significance to him. Idk it made me really happy.

    I also liked how the end of the chapter finished with such a random topic change. :3 Made me laugh.

    Anyway, I love this so far, update soon! Hug
    July 3rd, 2013 at 04:26pm
  • ThatGirlThatWrites

    ThatGirlThatWrites (100)

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    I'm in love with thisā™„ LOVE THE BANNER.
    June 22nd, 2013 at 04:59am