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September 29th, 2023 at 06:32am
I’m here as the new judge for the ‘Song Fic Contest’.
I like the way you chose to tackle this subject. Drug addiction is such a taboo subject and isn’t often depicted in such a gruesome way. A lot of the time, it’s used as a stepping stone for character development but isn’t acknowledged as it should be. It just kind of goes away in fiction. So the fact that you went through all of this to make it more realistic already gave it a unique touch.
But I also appreciated the format of the entire thing because you also gave me their backstory together and Jayy’s backstory so I better understood how he ended up becoming an addict. Intertwining all those moments leading up to Joel finding out about Jayy’s addiction by using his drug-induced dreams was actually a really nice touch because it combined both the present and the past without creating an awkward flow. The fact that Joel didn’t leave him was incredibly heartwarming because it showed what kind of man Joel was. There was a lot of development between when he found out about Jayy’s addiction to the very last scene because he realized his mistake and he just wants Jayy to be better. I like to think that Jayy got cleaned up and they definitely got their full happy ending. I appreciate that there was a hopeful ending at all though. I don’t see that very often in slash fics.
You did have some spelling and grammatical errors throughout that would sometimes cause a “hiccup” in the prose, so to speak. So I would definitely recommend proofreading a little more thoroughly or having someone else help you catch them.
Other than that, this was an emotional piece with a really hopeful and loving kind of tone to it. Good job.