Kian - Comments

OK HI I'M CATCHING UP SO HERE'S ME LIVE BLOGGING (or whatever this would be called) ALL MY REACTIONS. BE READY, GURL

1. Jonathan's kiss makes her feel on top of the world. BRUH. THATS SO CUTE. Stop making me ship them ugh!! Omg and now she's questioning Kian. Honestly I have 0 idea what to expect from this story at all. So I'm all torn Eunica is dropping some serious truth bombs tho. I love it.

2. OOO ok I like this chapter a lot despite it being short. It's like Kian's chapter. Idk how to explain it but its like giving insight into Kian's role in Beth's life post Eunica's spiel. So now we can see what Eunica (and now Beth) sees about her relationship and feelings towards Kian. Sorry, Kian

3. Awwww and now her mom is involved. Beth's confusion is sooo real though. I wouldn't know who to choose if I had two boys to pick from LOL.

4. Honey and strawberry pie? Um that sounds yummy but is also super irrelevant to this, I'm just always hungry all the time OMG JONATHAN IS HEEEERE. bitch I'm ready. "I want to do a lot of things to Jonathan" LOL girl same. omg I love her almost stream of consciousness trying to figure out what to say to Jonathan after he says he wants to get to know her.

OK JONATHAN IS KILLING ME. THESE WORDS, BRUH, IM SWOOOONING.

THEY'RE GOING ON A DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE

5. omg the last chapter, I don't think I'm ready Oh Kian, poor poor bb Kian. I can actually feel his sadness (or whatever) over the fact that he totally knows things are off between them too. Ok as much as I love Kian, Beth and Jonathan are so stinkin cute. Like Jonathan is like a clueless puppy, I love it.

OMG IT JUST ENDED. OMG SO SOON. I WASNT READY But um Beth, you're slowly falling for Jonathan? BITCH ME TOO WTF

okay okay but in all honesty, I absolutely loved this story. It's such a cute rom com type story that I'd watch the fuck out of on Netflix LOL. And it's just so simple and so cute and everything was unexpected. Legit, I had no clue Jonathan Olsen would come out of left field and do me like that, BUT HE DID.

AND THANK YOU FOR DESIGNATING ME AS UR ~EDITOR~ 'CAUSE I LOVED HELPING YOU WITH THIS.

Personally, I think it would be so cool to read this story in both Kian and Jonathan's POVs. I wanna know what they're thinking and I wanna know more about them! But pls let me know what you decide bc I'm hopping on board already.

I KNOW I HAVE BEEN MEANING TO READ THIS AND I KNOW I’M SO BEHIND THE HYPE. And I’m sorry. But, here I am now.

“USUALLY, I BECOME hungry when thinking about food.”
I actually laughed at the first sentence because I feel that on a spiritual level. So much. Already, I liked the main character (Beth) and enjoyed her narration. This is great. I love how you write, everything just flowed so well. I also liked how you described the bakery part – it’s quite vivid.

Reading her interactions with Kian just made me smile. I loved all the details – her noticing his uneven dimples, staring at his lip ring. Ugh, it’s so cute. And the ‘sugar daddy’ part. That part made me chuckle. You can already tell this guy is trouble (not bad trouble, more like cute playful trouble… something a puppy…) ANYWAY. I’m so ready for this!

i am about to lose my shit

1. THE KISS. BRUH. JONATHAN AND BETH. KISSING. I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO FEEL ABOUT THIS but highkey I'm into the bad boy x good girl thing and the fact that Jonathan is so mysterious is killing me
BUT UM I STILL SHIP KIAN AND BETH SO I'M SO TORN???

2. Gio and Beth's friendship is cute. Like he snaps at her because he's on edge but she doesn't get offended or anything, she understands its a high stress situation and she knows Gio well enough that he doesn't mean it. It's a super subtle look into their friendship, and I love that so much.

3. Kian being so concerned about Jonathan and then the fucking texts at the end after the kiss. I'm gonna die waiting for the next chapter 'CAUSE WE AT THE DRAMATIC BITS Y'ALL STRAP IN FOR THE RIDE

4. ALSO 5 CHAPTERS LEFT?????? Am I ready for that? No????

5. sorry for this obnoxious ass comment and all the caps. I'm just really excited ok

THIS SHIT IS SO CUTE
I love the little things everyone does, like karaoke and the dinners and stuff. Makes it feel like everyone is soooooo close and the friendships are so real.

I LOVE THIS

OK but what is Jonathan's deal? Because I get the whole jealous vibe too, but maybe Beth's right and he's just being odd. Maybe he's hiding something?

I'mma need some more Beth x Kian action. But I also need to know what's Jonathan's deal. And I can't wait for Kian and Matthias to hang out. Matthias is such a cute friend. I wonder if he's gonna be all protective big bro of Beth or like click hardcore with Kian and become BFFs.

I just want to kindly point out THAT IT'S BEEN A WEEK GIRL WHERE'S THE UPDATE AT

nooooo pressure or anything but yo I'm ready I am REA-DY for some cute ass Beth and Kian action. I know I've been a silent reader but you got me hook, lined, and sunk for this. so yeah can't wait for the next update! which hopefully is coming soon! right? RIGHT? (I'm very story-deprived over here I'm sorry I'm coming on a little crazy)

"...
how do you not know
how to ride a bike
BETHANY"

I died, I love how real that reaction is! THIS IS SO CUTE, THEY'RE SO AWKWARD AND SO IN-LIKE THAT I'M HEART EYES

I've never tried any of the food that you mentioned and I'm sad because you're making it sound so yummy!

I love the chapter! I can't wait for the next one and THEIR NEXT DATE WHERE HE'LL TEACH HER HOER TO RIDE A BIKE, BECAUSE IT HAS TO HAPPEN NOW THAT YOU MENTIONED IT ALL

I read this at 8:32am and now you're making me want KBBQ too now thanks Sam

But this update was sooooooooo cute. Kian and Bethany have like the sweetest connection. It's so simple, yet they fit perfectly together like puzzle pieces. It's effortless, really, and that's what I love about them. I can't wait for Kian to teach her how to ride a bike, that's gonna be the cutest shit ever *bombards you with that Snoop Dog meme*

AND GIRL YOU'RE SO WELCOME I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS STORY SO PLS KEEP IT COMING

#TEAMKIAN

lmao. OMG, so I finally caught up. I think I read up to chapter 4, and haven't read any of the newer updates until now. AND OH MY GOD. I AM SO EXCITED. This is a hella cute story, I lvoe cute stories. And I want to read more of these. With the small towns, with bakeries, coffees, bowling alleys, all THE CUTE SHIT.

"finally caught up" pfft, the chapters are short af, i'm just lame.

I just ran into this story by chance, like literally my phone went haywire and clicked on it but I’m so happy that it did! It must have been fate. I love this story. I love the small town of Beasley, I love Bethany and I love Kian. I literally just read the entire story in one sitting and I cannot wait for more, I think this story is just a perfect little romance.

I LOVE THIS STORY SO MUCH OMG

I LOVE YOU AND THIS STORY

Been waiting for this for 84 years
Jk not really but it has been awhile!!! I remember when you first started this but I'm all caught up now and eagerly waiting for the next chapters (I mean, feel free to update more than just on Wednesdays )

I just have to say that I love Kian and Dylan O'Brien as a faceclaim is kinda perfect for the character.

Colton is adorable as all hell. But his justification for eating the ice cream is totally sound. Melted ice cream just ain't the same

KIAN IS ALSO CUTE AS ALL HELL giving them free lemonade and cookies? jump his BONES girl

AHHHHHHH YESSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have missed this story so much and I can't wait to see what you do with it :D

I really love this, update soon??

Can I just say that I think this is the first story of yours that I read, pretty sure it was back before we were friends too so I'm really really honored that you asked me to make the layout for you. For one of my fave stories by one of my fave authors? Crazy.

Anyways, onto the story....

THE LIP RING
That first line man. I'm dead, I'm hooked (no pun intended?). I actually really love that Kian is introduced right away. People (myself included) always like to build up their two main characters meeting, but I like that you did it rather unconventionally and made it happen within the first few seconds.

I think one of your biggest strengths as a writer is that you portray your character's thoughts so beautifully. I don't think if there's a better way to phrase that lol but for example this line, His name sounds like one of those candy suckers that is discontinued because a person choked on the lolly. It matches him. is just so great. I feel like I'm Beth right now, that's how well you do it.

I love that she's manning a kissing booth. I've always wanted to try one of those...

I completely feel Beth on being this attracted to a guy upon first meeting. This is how I feel about every hot guy I meet. I just turn into a pile of goo.

KIAN IS SUCH A TEASE I'd be like "get yo ass back here and make out with me dammit" but I feel as tho there's more to this story....

THE CRUMM
I'm laughing because I want to know where this Crumm fellow got his nickname. I'm assuming it's a nickname. The more I read this first paragraph the more I'm convinced it's his actual name. I hope there's more insight in the future because I kinda like Crumm already.

Homie, I was really hoping for a crumb pun AND GIRL YOU DELIVERED. I'M LOVING IT.

This chapter is so short but I like that it gives us a glimpse into Beth's life, especially with her friend. They kinda remind me of Meredith and Cristina because those two always talk about their own problems, and like yapping over each other. Not that Beth and Crumm did exactly that, but close. It's kinda cute.

THE COOKING MAMA
One year later omfg. This is gonna be exciting. That's so cute that he remembers her from one year ago. I'm laughing out loud at him resembling a character from Cooking Mama. Sam, you too funny. But their interaction is really cute. I feel like it's realistic too, with the awkwardness mixed in there. Kian just seems like an all-around sweet guy, so it isn't creepy that he kinda followed her there.

Omg why is she FaceTiming Crumm? Where did Crumm go? Oh he's in Hawaii. Nice.

“God, B, it's beautiful! The trees, the sun, the boys,” – Crumm, I feel this on a spiritual level. The boys part, especially.

I wanna kiss Kian too, Beth.

Overall, I love this story. Even before you rewrote it. I can't wait for the rest of it and see Beth and Kian's relationship develop. It's gonna be a good one, I know that

That's a really blunt way of opening the chapter. No he has a ring on his lip, it's a hook on his lip which makes it stand out even more. Oh man, I love the name Kian. Probably because I love Kian Egan and his name is just so beautiful, even the pronunciation of it.

It's kind of weird that she'd set up a kissing booth, at least to me. Why would people even do that? Kian is right, kissing booths aren't at all common, and from the lack of kisses she received, it's clear that not many people around where she live think that it's worth their time either. Although it's kind of rude that no one paid for a kiss, but c'mon Bethany, it is a bit weird.

Wait, what?? He kissed her on the forehead? Damn Kian, you are such a tease.

I noticed one error that really stood out to me:

"kiss I payed for." - should be paid

Also, with how much attention Bethany paid to Kian's appearance and just him in general, she feels as if she's the type of develop an obsession with him or something. Like, she's just going to linger on him when it should be something to just brush aside. I don't know what that was what you were intending, though, but it honestly felt like that.



Okay, wait, his name is Crumm?? As in forename? Not surname?? I've never heard that as a forename before, or is it short for something but his real name it something ridiculous that he never uses so he just sticks to Crumm? Either way, it's an oddly unique name and I like it.

You have this laid back setting of a cafe but Crumm's talking about how he's not treating nice by guys, which is definitely not something that's laid back, and then further down you have the reference to Christian Camp and him being forced to go, presumably because he's gay, and it just contrasts with the cafe and the bread. It's nice because you can be at a place like that and touch upon struggles freely like that instead of everything being confined to being spoken about at home like in most stories.

The chapter is kind of short but I like the small glimpse we've got into Bethany's friendship with Crumm and how they're like together. It was really nice to read.

On one hand, I love stories that have short chapters because then updates tend to be quicker and it's easier to flow through, but on the other hand, an active story that has short chapters is horrible because you get an update that takes not long to read and then you just have to wait for another one to come and it's just like, ugh, you didn't leave me enough!! I much prefer subscribing to stories like this and waiting for them to finish, just because I'm really impatient.

Even just by the title I'm so intrigued by this. I just love titles that're a single name because it gets me wondering about who that person is and what they're all about. That aside though, I'm actually going to read and stop gushing over the title, ha.

The Lip Ring

I giggled a lot at the first line because it's just so... I don't know, deadpan? It sounds like a phrase that I assume my grandmother will use when I eventually get my nose pierced. I agree with Bridgette though, it's so lovely to start a story off with something other than eyes being noticed. It's unique and interesting, and it definitely has me thinking about both the narrator and the boy in question right off the bat.

You describe Kian so wonderfully thoughout this entire chapter -- there's no information dump about his appearance or personality. You give us these little tidbits throughout the chapter that let us build up a picture of him in our minds. It's the perfect example of show, don't tell and I'm so excited to see more about him.

As a complete aside though, kissing booths sound like no fun and I am so not envious of Bethany here, haha.

The Crumm

Crumm is literally the exact personality of one of my best friends, so I am so down with this. He's really funny and I love how you write him throughout! You jump straight in and introduce him so vibrantly that you really see his character come across through his words. I'd love to hear more about how he looks, but right now I'm perfectly happy with getting to know him through his personality. As I said above, I actually know somebody who's exactly like Crumm, so I feel like you've got his characterisation down pat.

Also, I like the depth you've given him in such a little space. You've got the conversation steering towards Christian camps and the suchlike -- it makes me wonder what Crumm's been through, and it also adds this three-dimensional element to his character. He's got his bright, bubbly side, but he's also got struggles and negative things happening to him. It's great to read a character that's fleshed out like that in such a small chapter.

I'm 100% going to go on and read The Cooking Mama when I have more time to spare because this story has really piqued my attention. Keep it up!

Just with the layout and summary I'm bubbling with excitement~ I had no clue kian was a word and not a name. The definition is beautiful and I wonder if Kian Hicks will be like the noun or the verb.

The Lip Ring
This is lovely! I love how it starts with an observation that isn't something common like eyes and how we don't get to know what he was saying. It's a good touch that adds to the mystery of Kian. Your comparison of his name to a lolly was sweet. Literally.

"I can’t help but feel strangely attached to this Kian character." At this I wonder if they've known each other but never been formally introduced, or if this is a sort of love-at-first-sight deal. Though I have to say, if I was in a kissing booth and someone kissed me on the forehead, I'd probably fall in love too.

There are quite a few typos, so I do recommend having someone edit this. If you message it to me instead of going through the forums, I can fix everything!

The Crumm
Crumm is a ...different name. Is that a nickname or his actual name? You've really set up something with such unique names. I'm sad that this was so short because he seems like such a cool character. I like that he isn't the "pretty boy" that fits all the gay stereotypes and has guys jumping to ~put a ring on it~ He has substance and actual struggles.

The friendly banter between him and Beth is perfect and makes this story something most readers can probably relate to. And who doesn't love sass? Crumm has a lot of it, lucky for us.

The Cooking Mama
It's already taken me an hour to run back and type out my comments since The Fosters is on, so I'll brb once Recovery Road goes off to read and comment on this chapter! Beth is wild haha I love how Kian didn't even bat an eyelash at her comment and was really sweet and open with her. Bethany's mom is perfect omg. I can 100% relate to the "what was thaaaat, and it's such a warming bit to include.

It's so different to have a leading male written as polite it feels like, so I'm super shocked and just sucked in by Kian. (Definitely would be on Crumm's side if I could take a fictional character off Beth's hands haha) This is definitely feeling like a love at first sight piece, so I can't wait to see what you have in store and if my guesses are correct.

I fix myself on the family couch and decide to FaceTime my best friend, in what feel like ages. - is "for the first time" missing out of that?

Alright darlin, you know I absolutely adore this story, but I'll sit down and give you a proper review instead of just gushing the layout is gorgeous, and I love the feel it gives the story right off the bat.

The Lip Ring
I really love how right off the bat I'm hooked (heh) by the first line. It's just blunt and gives us a feel for Kian and Beth which is really nice.

I really love how the dialogue flows throughout the chapter, it breaks up the description really naturally and makes the chapter flow really, really well. It was super effortless to read which I really love.

I love how Kian is such a tease, as well. It tells me a lot about his character and makes me excited for all of the things we’re going to get to learn about him.

One thing I noticed in this chapter:
A peak, smooth or make out from a couple of strangers is okay once in awhile, but I wasn't going to admit it to Kian.
“peak” should be “peck”.

The Crumm
I think Crumm might be my favorite character ever. You write him so well and he stays consistent through the chapter, which I really appreciate.

This chapter was quite short, but I liked how it gave us an introduction to Beth and Crumm’s friendship. Since we obviously don’t know a whole lot about the characters as of this moment, it’s cool to get a bit of insight into how they are going to be through the rest of the story, if that makes sense.

I’m interested to see if Kian and Crumm end up becoming friends at any point in the story, because I feel like they’re complete opposites but I kinda get the feeling that they might get along at some point in time.

The Cooking Mama
I find it interesting that Kian’s voice is described as “fruity” so often. It’s a really unique word choice but I think it fits him really well.

Awe he’s sweet though. I like that he saw her crossing the road and came over to talk to her and was so polite and aw.

AND MORE CRUMM. YES. I love how you’ve still kept his personality so consistent in this chapter as well. I feel like a character like his is so specific that you have to be careful with how you write him but you’ve done it amazingly.

The last sentence was just perfect. Ahh, I can’t wait to see the relationship between Kian and Beth grow, it’ll be so fantastic.

I can't wait for the update, lovely!