July 3rd, 2013 at 10:51pm
This looks like it has a lot of potential and it's really good for your first fic. But I'd like to offer some tips.
First of all describe! Try to create your scenery and characters. Remember to use the five senses. Give your ofc a real personality, make her a real person. What's her weakness? What does she want more than anything? What does she do to get it? What are her personality traits? Ask yourself those questions and more. The way you create her is how she'll act.
Plotwise you have a good idea but you have to move forward. There's more to the story than fooling around. Cam has to choose eventually. The idea is interesting but you have to continue with it and create more of it.
This is already getting way too long so I just want to say best of luck and I hope you know this is all just constructive critisim.
First of all describe! Try to create your scenery and characters. Remember to use the five senses. Give your ofc a real personality, make her a real person. What's her weakness? What does she want more than anything? What does she do to get it? What are her personality traits? Ask yourself those questions and more. The way you create her is how she'll act.
Plotwise you have a good idea but you have to move forward. There's more to the story than fooling around. Cam has to choose eventually. The idea is interesting but you have to continue with it and create more of it.
This is already getting way too long so I just want to say best of luck and I hope you know this is all just constructive critisim.