Four Leaf Clover - Comments

Yay so I at long last, I am finally commenting. I bet you though I'd never actually do it, didn't you? Haha I think I should stop planning things, because I had planned to read this and comment like two days ago, but then that all went out the window. Typical, but I'll stop rambling about that now, and actually give you your comment!

So I hate to say it, but I try not to read Avenged Sevenfold stories, I don't know why, but I just seem to get bored with them really easily. Not to sound mean, but to me, all of them pretty much follow the same plot line. Nothing exciting seems to happen, well at least in the ones I read anyway. But since I'm going to see Avenged in December (whoop!) I was pretty excited to read this one.

Okay, so reading the summary, the first thing I notice is that I quite like the name Arianna. I know, that's a pretty weird thing to notice. Okay, then reading further on in it, I'm thinking is he like a fucking stalker? Oh god why Brian, can't you be normal, I like you when you're normal in stories. What is she getting herself in for, and why is someone so perfect as Brian being described as a nightmare! Let me go find out...

So on reading the first chapter, I find myself wondering how he found her. Why did he become so obsessed, like he is a kind of a stalker isn't he? I think he is. I hope you prove me prove later in this story though. Please prove me wrong. One thing that plays on my mind is that I seriously think Susan might like Brian! I am most likely going to be wrong with that assumption, but it seems like she's playing it cool. Could that cause some drama later in the story? Maybe so, maybe so. Hmm they're going out to dinner now, let's see where this leads. *click to next chapter*

When they're at the door though, you use the word slip in different formats quite a lot, There;s nothing wrong with it, I just found myself reading over because I thought I was reading the same line again or something, if that makes any sense. Also, I don't want to sound mean, but I think you could separate your paragraphs out a little more, when I was reading I found myself picking out where you could divide them, but that's just my opinion.

Ooo I like how you wrote about the whole 'encounter at the door' thing in her point of view too. I like that, it's cute. I'm wondering why she felt emotions coming back after school, that wouldn't be something to do with her being an orphan would it? Ah she doesn't like to be called Anna! Well I'm going to refer to her as that anyway, but because I'm too lazy to type Arianna the whole time. Yes, they're going out! I like the sound of that outfit, I wounder how it'll go...

Brain, god it's rude to stare! It's sweet that he's nervous, it doesn't seem like he should be, being so gorgeous and everything. But maybe A7X doesn't exist in this story, so maybe that's why he isn't so confident. Letting her pick the movie, well doesn't he know how to steal a girl heart! Aw did you're phone miss you, cheesy!

Okay I've started on chapter four and I'm literally screaming at him in my head. Don't do anything like I think you're going to Brian, don't. Oh my the fuck did he have to do that. There was me thinking he was so cute and everything and then he does that! Anna girl, you had better run fucking fast. Loving this so far, this is an excellent plot too! I though it was going to be one of the typical meet in a coffee shop, go out, get together, the end. stories, but it's not and I'm really excited now! haha

Okay I in a way admire her for being so brave and running away, but in a way I'm thinking it would have been easier to stay there, because now when he catches her, he's gonna be mad! He might have like been nice about it before, but now, I'm not so sure.

He caught her! Shit! Oh wait, he didn't do anything? Yes! Now I like his again, well I don't like him because he fucking knocked her out, but I kind of like him for bringing her back to the car and not doing anything, if you catch my drift.

Can I just stop for a minute and say that you are a fantastic writer, I'm really really loving this story, and I hadn't expected to, as I said, I didn't think the plot was going to be interesting. Oh I didn't compliment your layout yet either, it's very pretty. I love the banner, oh and the title too. It doesn't give anything away about the story, so that interested me at the start. I think this is amazing so far, I think this comment is going to be a little too long, so I'll read silently from now on haha

I spotted a few little mistakes, where you've left out a word or where something doesn't sound too good. But still, that's only because I was looking out for them, I doubt I'd have noticed them otherwise, so don't worry. I think this is really well written to, you definitely have talent. Good job!

why are men stuff in her home?? O.o I wanna read more!!!!

I'm still not sure how I feel about Brian. I am curious about the other stuff in her house though. Who does it belong to?

In a sick way, Brian going to get her things to make her feel better was kind of sweet. I'm not really sure how to explain why I think that either; I just do. Though I do think he missed the fact that she missed her home and not her things. There's a difference, but I'm not sure he could understand that. I don't think he's ever been attached to a place, just things or people.

I am a little curious about why there were clothes that belonged to a guy in her house though. I thought she lived alone. At first I thought maybe they were her dad's things, but then why didn't she have her mom's stuff up as well? Whose was it? And why was it there? So many questions. D:

I did like getting to learn a little more about Brian, and it just makes me love his character even more. The whole crooked cop thing is fantastic. Never come across that in a fanfic before, and I love it. Way to be a special snowflake. XD And it kind of makes me sick that he's just able to completely relax even though he's got a teenage girl locked away inside his house.

Why some people were so obsessed about guns they weren’t allowed to have, guns to which easy access wasn’t granted in the least, was kind of unclear to me. The irony in that statement... I cannot get enough of that irony, and I actually read over it a couple of times just to soak it in. I'm wondering if he'll ever realize that he's no better than those people he was talking about. Something makes me think he won't. Loved the update!

Oh Brian, like getting her a few of her things is going to make her feel better. She misses HER home, she doesn't want to be anywhere near you. Now I'm starting to feel a little harshly towards Brian, she's never gonna want to be with you buddy! He's completely delusional!

...A man's things at her house.. could this be where you know who gets introduced? I hope so :D

He just sits there, getting comfy with a beer while poor Arianna is locked away upstairs. I'm starting to hate Brian

So, not only is he a fucking pyscho and a kidnapper, now he's a thief and a bent cop. I'm loving this! Brian is so interesting. I don't like him though. XD

Great update babe! :D

The bastard just doesn't get SHE'S NOT INTO YOU

Certo, ele é um policial! Logo desconfiei porque
1) ou ele era policial;
2) ou ele era mafioso.
Um homem só tem poderes se lidar com um dos lados da lei. E eu fico refletindo sobre essa história, e realmente acho que será a primeira que eu não amarei o sequestrador.

I find this story so interesting, simply because she actually does not like him! An abduction story where the abducted has not fallen for the abductor's charms. It might seem like such a simple concept but there are so few of them out there! thank you! Also your writing is awesome and I love how this story is progressing. Keep it up, I look forward to your update :)

Is it sad that it's taken me 10 chapters to actually feel disgusted with Brian? I already know the answer to that, and I'm so ashamed of myself. In my defense, he's an interesting character, and I've been fascinated by him. If it wasn't for the fact he basically lied about being mad at her to try manipulating her into liking him, I probably wouldn't want to send his ass to the deepest pit in hell just yet.

I'm also going to point out that I'm in tears right now. My heart shattered into a thousand tiny pieces, and I'm going to be depressed for a while now. Arianna telling Brian she missed home and begging him to let her go was what did for me. Already feeling sad before that, but I just broke into tears after that. And now she's realized she doesn't have any hope at all of getting out, not yet anyway with him being a police officer and having friends watching her. Poor thing. I could say a lot more, but I'm fixing to start crying again, so I'm going to stop. Loved the update though!

Oh snap! Hahaha but I find it so hard to read stories like this seriously...because if I were in that situation with Syn, I'd be all like...please! Please have your naughty way with me baby lmao. But seriously though...no wonder she feels so panicked! He's a dang Police Officer. I bet he would look good in that uniform though.

Damn police she lost her chance of escaping

Poor Arianna :( why Brian couldn't just go on dates with her until she falls in love with him?? He had to kidnap her to shut down all his oportunities :/

Nuh uh, YOU'RE the cutiepie.

Poor Arianna, so close!! Bad Johnny, manhandling a woman like that, you should be ashamed of yourself! *takes out mighty sword*

I can't help but feel sadness for her, she's been locked away, taken from everything and everyone she loves and just left to rot in that room. I want to jump into your story and steal her away from all the bad people and take her home with me to have cookies and cuddles with!

I still can't get over how well you write Brian in this, it's so good! The fact that he is what he is, yet he is a complete psychopath XD I love it. He's so calm and collected, even though he's broken god knows how many laws.

Especially not since I felt like I really needed to have a word with her, He says this like she's done something naughty, like stayed out too late or not done her homework. He's really fucked up XD

Dun dun duuuun! He's a police officer! (I already knew that, but hey) So that means he has complete control, in a sense. The police won't come looking for her, he'll see to that. Oh how I love this story! I'm so glad I helped (in the little way I did) you to write again, I loved this chapter! The poor girl, I really want to hit Brian repeatedly on the head.

I can't wait to see how this all pans out and maybe just maybe she might escape? I hope so. And you know.. I'm going to bug you until you write the next one right? Haha

Loved it bby! <3

I love this! It's so great and well written too! :)

Hahaha just like Johnny xD and I'm picturing Brian in a police uniform and the image in my head is pretty sexy :P lol Update soon :)

OMG! I've just re-read this chapter and I can't believe I missed it!!! Brian...in a police uniform?! 0.o

Johnny feels sorry for her I know it

Yes! I was hoping there'd be a Johnny POV, so I'm happy now. I kind of expected him to keep some distance between him and Arianna, but I'm still a little disappointed to be honest. At least he was kind of nice to her. And I'm sensing a bit of tension between Johnny and Brian, mostly from Johnny, so I'm curious how that'll play out. I'm still a little confused about what exactly it is that Brian and Johnny do though. Maybe that's on purpose though, and if it's not, well I'm obviously not in the right state of mind to pick up on it. Brian's super paranoid though with all those cameras. Does he really need all that? And why? Just more freaking questions. >< Loved the update though!

Uh, and just a note, there's a point where you mention $10.000, and I'm not really sure if that's a typo or that's just how numbers are written in German (or possibly all of Europe since the US like to be special), but it should be written as $10,000. The way you did it makes it kind of look like you said 10 dollars. That's all though.

Ansiosa para o momento em que Matthew vai aparecer! Ele vai, não é? rs
Johnny é apenas um fantche, que surpreendente! :'D

Stupid of me to think Brian didn't have control over something for once. Me thinks Johnny boy is getting a little tied of Brian's controlling ways. I wonder what the others think.

Poor girl, he can't just keep her locked up in his house forever surely? He has to let her out at some point. I wonder if she will try and make a run for it knowing Brian is out, I would! XD One thing that does come across, especially in this chapter, Brian is really paranoid! I know he's just now getting extra security for the house because Arianna is there, but seriously? How many cameras does he have? Lol

Great update my love, a few typos here and there but nothing a quick proof read won't fix :) Very much looking forward to the next!!