August 25th, 2013 at 05:38pm
Ahh, I absolutely LOVE the idea of this story and how you approached it. I think the idea of if and would is often thought about before getting in a relationship and you took that idea and expanded it into so much more. It was a beautiful story.
I like how you used the repetition of "If we were together," because it added a nice effect to the piece. I thought everything the narrator said was gorgeous and very sweet. They were going to do everything together, and ignore friends, family, etc. because that's how lovestruck they were and I thought that was cute. You added aspects of a relationship that were very relatable and I think that also added to the piece. A lot of people with crushes, or in love can relate to them.
This was such a sweet and simple short story. I'm glad I read this!
Lastly, I love your writing style and the setup of this story is awesome. Amazing job!