Lost in Translation - Comments

@ vcjb298
Awee! Thank you so much! I'm working on it now, and actually writing it for AugNoWriMo (: It will be up soon!

Can't wait for the next chapter.

@ TwIsT.LiCk.DuNk
Thank you so much! I will definitely fix that. I really appreciate you taking the time to leave me a comment <3
xxx

This seems good. Although, I do suggest you leave a space in between each paragraph as it would definitely be easier on the eyes.

“Kaylee, get on your uniform before I put it on you myself!” My best friend, Zoe, had pestered me about doing cheer with her since I met her in middle school. I had finally given in when we were in the seventh grade and we have both been on the squad ever since. Now we were juniors in high school.
“Can’t I sit just this one game out? Zoe, I’m exhausted,” I whined, hoping she’d let me out of it. I wasn't tired at all, I was just bored with cheering all the time. It was ironic how un-cheery a cheer leader could be. Then again, maybe I was just different from the rest of the girls on the squad.
“Kaylee Mercedes Gregory!” There was the use of the full name. Who does she think she is? My mother? “There is no way in hell I’m cheering without you.”

This is the quote I took from you stories. And it would look a lot better if you space it like this :

“Kaylee, get on your uniform before I put it on you myself!” My best friend, Zoe, had pestered me about doing cheer with her since I met her in middle school. I had finally given in when we were in the seventh grade and we have both been on the squad ever since. Now we were juniors in high school.

“Can’t I sit just this one game out? Zoe, I’m exhausted,” I whined, hoping she’d let me out of it. I wasn't tired at all, I was just bored with cheering all the time. It was ironic how un-cheery a cheer leader could be. Then again, maybe I was just different from the rest of the girls on the squad.

“Kaylee Mercedes Gregory!” There was the use of the full name. Who does she think she is? My mother? “There is no way in hell I’m cheering without you.”

I know it seems like I'm nitpicking but it's important. When the paragraphs aren't spaced properly, the whole chapter would look like just a wall of words and it can be such a turn off to read the story.

I however find nothing wrong with you grammar. I'm not a perfectionist in grammar and English is my second language but I think you have a good writing style. You descriptions are easy to understand and you're balancing your dialogues and descriptions well.

I think you're off in the right direction here. Good luck. ^_^

I love your story!! Please read mine "Don't Let Me Die in Russia"!