The Northern Crown - Comments

  • semisweet.

    semisweet. (100)

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    couldn't sleep. decided to check out some of your older work. clicked upon this though I don't know why as I have no interest in Claude at all. but I am so happy I did. I feel like you're going to get sick of me commenting on your stories how wonderful you are but too bad. this was magical. the greek mythology element. the stars. you described it all so beautifully. so whimsically. I just - I don't know.
    February 25th, 2014 at 09:15am
  • Jayess

    Jayess (100)

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    I liked the shifts in POV and they were well done (in both prose and format) so that it was easy to distinguish whose 'voice' I was hearing.
    June 29th, 2013 at 03:45pm
  • insomniatic dreams.

    insomniatic dreams. (100)

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    first, i absolutely loved reading this and it did make sense. second, i don't read many one shots just because i like full on stories but i decided to give this a go. it was different (in a good way) with how you timelined the story and put different perspectives from the main characters within them. it was time managed well and nothing was too rushed and it all flowed together nicely.

    In Greek mythology, Ariadne, princess of Crete, falls deeply in love with a doomed Athenian named Theseus. She promises him safe passage out of the Labyrinth if he agrees to marry her, which he does, only after they escape to Naxos, he abandons her while she sleeps. Ariadne awakes and, realizing she’s been abandoned, cries out that no woman should ever trust the word of a man because he will always betray his promises. Responding to her outcry, the gods make sure Theseus has a troubled mind and troubled passage on his journey home.

    Hearing her cries, Bacchus puts his arms around her and brings her to his aid. Taking the crown from her forehead, Bacchus sets it as a constellation in the sky, bringing her eternal glory. The Northern Crown can be seen midway between Hercules and Ophiuchus.

    For four months I played the role of Ariadne, cursing Claude for being my Theseus, only now I realize I’ve got it all wrong. He’s both Theseus and Bacchus.

    Claude and I are stars. We’re two in many, a countless number, and we’re on fire. When he leaves, my helium core runs out and sends me into my final stages. I’m broken and torn apart, on the brink of extinction, only I survive the explosion. He returns and sucks me into his Black Hole, and this time I don’t protest.

    My brain is thinking in astronomical terms when I kiss him. I’m making comparisons to celestial bodies as he forms his own constellations in my heart, wordlessly stitching me back together like Ariadne’s thread. I know then that I’m in love with him. If not ever before, I’m in love with him in this moment.


    this part of the story was incredibly genius and i love greek mythology. i like that you incorporated this into the story because it fits and it empowers malin even more as a woman when claude returns to say sorry to her. as much as we want to forgive and forget we can never forget but we forgive because we can't turn our backs to true love in fear of never finding anyone like that person again. as much as we want to say 'no, go away'... let's be honest, if a sexy hockey player is coming back on his knees (figuratively, i suppose) and loving on you who's going to say no?! no one! lol.

    She stirs, her soft lips accidentally brushing the skin of my neck, and I’m overcome with things I never thought I’d feel. All at once I want to ravish her, protect her, love her, grow old with her—and my head spins. I can’t see straight and I feel dizzy, but I know this is how I’m supposed to feel.

    This is how love feels.


    ugh! my heart burst into tiny pieces when i read this and i was so ecstatic he finally realized where he's meant to be and in some raunchy fangirl fantasy land over this ginger a girl is out there wishing he was in their bed and loving them irrevocably and unconditionally. myself included, of course ;)

    ps. good luck on the contest!
    June 25th, 2013 at 05:49am