This was definitely an emotional piece. I’m not familiar with the song, but I really enjoyed how you incorporated the lyrics into the actual story in a way that fits. I’ve often listened to songs that were eerily similar to situations I’ve been in, which somehow reminds me that I’m not alone, that someone else out there felt it and lived through it, too. I know that’s not quite what you were going for with Clover, but I still thought it was a really nice way of intertwining your lyrics into the story.
I wanted so badly for Nate to live by some miracle, but I always say that when I read these types of doomed-love stories. I never want the other person to die because the romantic in me wants constantly happy endings. I wanted so badly for Nate to live and for Clover to be with him so they could continue living their lives the way Clover talked about.
You did really well in the way you wrote about their relationship and the love they had for each other, so it definitely amplified that heartbreak. The flashback scene was definitely a little confusing because it wasn’t clear that it was a flashback at first. I thought we were still in the present so I was trying to figure out what Clover was talking about, but then I realized she was reminiscing her birthday. So I would definitely recommend using the classic italics or something else that makes it clearer.
Other than that, this was really nice and well-written so good job!
This was definitely an emotional piece. I’m not familiar with the song, but I really enjoyed how you incorporated the lyrics into the actual story in a way that fits. I’ve often listened to songs that were eerily similar to situations I’ve been in, which somehow reminds me that I’m not alone, that someone else out there felt it and lived through it, too. I know that’s not quite what you were going for with Clover, but I still thought it was a really nice way of intertwining your lyrics into the story.
I wanted so badly for Nate to live by some miracle, but I always say that when I read these types of doomed-love stories. I never want the other person to die because the romantic in me wants constantly happy endings. I wanted so badly for Nate to live and for Clover to be with him so they could continue living their lives the way Clover talked about.
You did really well in the way you wrote about their relationship and the love they had for each other, so it definitely amplified that heartbreak. The flashback scene was definitely a little confusing because it wasn’t clear that it was a flashback at first. I thought we were still in the present so I was trying to figure out what Clover was talking about, but then I realized she was reminiscing her birthday. So I would definitely recommend using the classic italics or something else that makes it clearer.
Other than that, this was really nice and well-written so good job!