Wow... I must be slow. I honestly didn't see that ending coming
I thought this was really cute. There doesn't seem to be much to James apart from the facts that he is shy and works in Starbucks, but I felt sympathetic empathetic (because who hasn't been in this situation before?) towards him, probably because his crippling anxiety was described so well. I was concerned that he'd watch this woman endlessly without ever properly speaking to her, so I'm glad the situation was resolved in a positive way in the end. With regards to Jill and Lynn, you could have explained more about why they (or she, at the time) were so fascinating to James - was there anything aside from they/her being pretty and seemingly affluent? At the same time, I feel that the mysterious nature of the woman was appropriate, especially when taking into account the ending.
"You're one of our regulars, so I guess I can tell the difference each day." ^ I appreciate the irony there I love all of the descriptions of James' anxiety.
A couple of typos I noticed (literally, only two): "...ever since the pretty auburn haired woman had begun to stop had his Starbucks every morning after work" I think you meant to type "at" instead of the second "had" (also, is it meant to read "every morning after work"? I don't know anything about this woman's work hours, so I may be wrong)
"He nearly chocked on his own spit" "Chocked" should be "choked"
I like what you did with this prompt and I wish you all the best in the contest.
I thought this was really cute. There doesn't seem to be much to James apart from the facts that he is shy and works in Starbucks, but I felt sympathetic empathetic (because who hasn't been in this situation before?) towards him, probably because his crippling anxiety was described so well. I was concerned that he'd watch this woman endlessly without ever properly speaking to her, so I'm glad the situation was resolved in a positive way in the end. With regards to Jill and Lynn, you could have explained more about why they (or she, at the time) were so fascinating to James - was there anything aside from they/her being pretty and seemingly affluent? At the same time, I feel that the mysterious nature of the woman was appropriate, especially when taking into account the ending.
"You're one of our regulars, so I guess I can tell the difference each day."
^ I appreciate the irony there
A couple of typos I noticed (literally, only two):
"...ever since the pretty auburn haired woman had begun to stop had his Starbucks every morning after work"
I think you meant to type "at" instead of the second "had" (also, is it meant to read "every morning after work"? I don't know anything about this woman's work hours, so I may be wrong)
"He nearly chocked on his own spit"
"Chocked" should be "choked"
I like what you did with this prompt and I wish you all the best in the contest.