Night Is Gotham - Comments

So I was actually surprised by this. I'll admit that I didn't really expect to like it, and I didn't. I loved it!
Your use of language is wonderful, the way you planned every paragraph out was really good, it looks to me like you knew exactly how you wanted this to play out. If I had one complaint though, your paragraphs are very long and they get a little boring at the length they are. But in saying that everything else about this is brilliant. I love your descriptions especially. Plus your layout is nice, maybe a tad small in the font, bit it suits this story well. Good job!

Comment Swap sent me here again, Sorry!!

Surprisingly, I haven't read a Batman fan fiction before!! :O

I'm glad this is my first though, because this is amazing! I can tell you're a natural writer and it shines through your use of imagery and characterization. Your writing is fast paced, but not too fast to the point I don't know what's going on, you've seen to have found that perfect balance!! You're a truly great author and I can't wait for more!!

God Bless,

Olivia

@ your_one_addiction
Awe, thank you. You're too kind!
Ohmygoodness really?! Well I'll there to check them out :D

@ always forever;
Hey don't worry about it! I'd rather a late comment and have you take your time and enjoy the story than rush through it just to comment.
I'm glad you enjoyed it, i'll be updating regularly and have some good filler chapters coming up that explain why Bruce is the way he is and just how old he and the rest of the cast is.

Stay tuned for more!

This is perfect. Honestly. I never even knew there was a Batman fan base until like a week ago. This makes my life complete, like for real. And this story it just perfect so far. I don't even know where to start, I just loved it. Okay, here I go.

You're layout is perfect for this story. It's simple. Not over do or anything, and it's black. Batman colors. Bruce Wayne colors. Ah.

The contents are very well written. Your descriptive wording was completely wonderful and I loved the way you started the chapter just going at it like that, wonderful job, I really loved that. The character, Evelyn is a well written character and I mean, Bruce freaking Wayne is her dad. Just whoa. Anyways, I really do love what you've got here and it's just perfect. I'll be back for me, trust me.

& I'm sorry for the late comment back on the comment swap, I've been fairly busy lately. :D

oxox - Morgie.

First off, I'd like to say that I adore your layout.

This is really good. I love the way you described things and I love how you jumped right into the story in chapter one. The bit about Evelyn around attractive guys was great because it told the reader her age and was realistic at the same time. She seems like a really good character. Mark seems mysterious and I'm really curious about him. My jaw almost hit the floor when I read that her father was Bruce Wayne because I was not expecting that at all! I'm really curious to find out why he's acting the way he's acting. The pace is really good because it moves quickly but the reader can still keep up easily without getting lost. Your writing is also really enjoyable!

this was my first batman fan-fiction! it is amazing!

Surprisingly, I haven't read a Batman fan fiction before!! :O

I'm glad this is my first though, because this is amazing! I can tell you're a natural writer and it shines through your use of imagery and characterization. Your writing is fast paced, but not too fast to the point I don't know what's going on, you've seen to have found that perfect balance!! You're a truly great author and I can't wait for more!!

God Bless,

Olivia

@ kuzco.
I've been trying to fix the paragraph problem, I thought I had but I guess it's still not spaced out enough :(

As far as Bruce's nature, you're correct in it being out of character for him to act abusive, especially towards a family member, but I will explain in the next couple of chapters why he is the way he is. It's kind of alluded to as to why he might be acting the way he does, but I can understand your confusion. I'll make sure to make it more clear in the up coming chapters.

Thanks for the read!

I like how fast paced the two chapters are. You just threw in some fast-paced scenes in the beginning of the story, which could really attract readers. I really like how you added a few details about the characters, including Bruce, and what the main character thought about them. I also liked how you added a few details about the main character.

However, one thing that bothered me was the formatting of the chapters. The chapters themselves are really hard to read since most of the paragraphs don't have any space in between them. The only thing that kind of bothered me was the way Bruce was acting toward his daughter. It seems a little... out of character for him to be so mean to one of his family members, but that's just to my small knowledge of the character. Maybe you have a reason for him to act this way, but I couldn't really find any at the moment.

Anyway, this story is really good so far. Keep up the good work!

I'm not a huge fan of fanfiction but I decided to try this. I like how it seemed necessary to protect the binder not even knowing what it is. And I have to say I love the background. It's perfect

@ Lestat de Lioncourt.
Thank you for the read! I'm glad you enjoyed it! And don't worry about now knowing much about Batman, I'm still learning about the stories as well and doing research. My boyfriend is a comic fan and I've been getting really into Batman. Mark's character is made up but he will be featured more in upcoming chapters. I'll be updating regularly so stay tuned!

First of all, I love the layout. It's perfect for a Batman story, it's dark and you have the city view and I just really liked it. It adds nicely to the atmosphere of the story. I liked the whole scene in the first chapter where Mark chase's after her for the binder. I thought it was kind of a fun scene and I became very interested in his character. Is he in the movies/cartoons? Sorry, I'm not really familiar with batman too much. But I liked how they interacted and I'd like to see more of him. In the second chapter it was interesting to see Bruce Wayne as an abusive father. For a second I was like, wait, isn't batman supposed to be good? lol But I like this take on his character. I noticed a few small spelling/word mistakes, but only a few. Overall, this is really good so far. I'm actually going to subscribe because I'm interested to see what's gonna happen next.

@ midnight sunshine x
I'll be updating either everyday/every other day. I'll be going to Michigan soon and won't have much to do out there so i'll have plenty of time to work on this story. Thank you for reading!

@ cadaveres literarios
thank you! i've been trying to figure out what people meant by not enough space between my paragraphs. this is very helpful, and I'm also glad that you like my story :) i'll be updating regularly either everyday or every other day.

I'll start with the banner; I really like how well it suits the story title and how, well, dark the layout is; it helps in creating this atmosphere that pulls the reader in to the contents of the story.

I was incredibly what's the word... uncomfortable? when reading about Bruce Wayne being this way; I give you tons of brownie points for that; it takes a lot to take Bruce Wayne, the Batman, out of the role of the hero and make him, well the complete opposite of what we envision him to be.

I'm interested in how this story is going to develop and what has pushed Bruce Wayne to be like this; from the narration style it appears that a) he lost everything (batman-wise) or b) he was never the Batman, so I'm very intrigued.

The only critique I have is on the structure of the paragraphs; according to Mibba rules, you have to leave a full space between paragraphs, that means (in Mibba) hit "Enter" two times in order for it not to look cluttered (I know that on Word or other writing apps the full space is not read as a full one on Mibba by experience).

Other than that, I thought your story was well-written and intriguing. I shall subscribe in hopes of reading more.

Is Bruce slightly mental!!??? The concept of Batman's daughter is something I love, I want to know the mum!!! You've got me hooked! Please update soon!! :-) xxx