Black Bird - Comments

Nice update :D In one of the early paragraphs you put "tho ugh" instead of though but apart from that the grammar is really good for this chapter!

Looking forward to seeing how all these characters interact more and how they forward the plot :)

Hey you guys. I like this one.

@ iamsandra94
No problem :D

I will have to keep that in mind! Thank you so much!

@ iamsandra94
It's no problem! If you ever a beta to give your chapters a quick grammar fix just hit me up and I'll happily help out :)

@ Nereid
Thank you so much for the feedback! To be honest with you I haven't proof read the chapter so I will definitely be going back to take care of those mistakes. Grammar has never been a strong point for me unfortunately so I am hoping I will be able to catch where those mistakes are. I appreciate the input!

Straight off the bat with that powerful imagery! I love it! That introductory simile, "Crows circled like a merry-go-round...", is so fantastic. The idea of something so dark as a murder of crows surveying a carcass combined with the childlike joy of a merry-go-round, sets this story off so well. It's dark and twisted from the get go, and I love it.

You tell a story well though. I like how you skip from inner monologue to conversation. It's very fluid, which is a good thing for a writer. The plot seems really interesting, and I'm excited to see where you take it :)

By the way, you accidentally but "onher" instead of on her in one of the paragraphs, and there's a couple of grammar mistakes here and there like missing commas and not starting new paragraphs for a new line of talking. Also, with the tattoo, initially Lucy said it was a raven and then later on you said it was a crow. Nothing detrimental to the story though so it's fine :) Just little things you learn over time mainly!