The One Who Ran Away - Comments

Please update!!

please keep going c:

Hello! I kinda stumbled upon this and wanted to give you some feedback on your story!

Firstly here is the Story Guidelines. They're basically the rules of story posting and here is this request thread for a story editor that might be better able to explain what I am about to say.

Dialogue is generally posted in quotation marks [ " ].
For example: He said "My names Kyle. What's yours?" NOT He said 'My name is Kyle. What's yours?'

I is considered a pronoun and pronouns are capitalized.
For example: Kyle and I were walking through the park. NOT Kyle and i were walking through the park.
Proper nouns are also capitalized. They include cities/states/counties (Portland, Oregon, Unite States) and names (Kyle, Frank, Sarah) as well as specific buildings or monuments, religions, or holidays.

Paragraphs are double spaced on the internet when it comes to stories. In published books they indent but since that feature is unavailable on most writing sites it is broken up with an extra paragraph break. If its not done stories tend to look sloppy and like a big wall of text.

Im also going to mention some of your other punctuation like commas and periods needs some work. I noticed several missing periods or misplaced commas. If you submit this for editing or contact as story editor directly they will be able to help you better than I ever could.

Anyways, have a good day and happy writing!

Please continue c: It's good